Treading Water

3 - Into the Deep

It's been one week since our Irish encounter. A whole dam week and I can't seem to get him out my mind. Nine days to be freaking exact. I keep recollecting how good his large hands felt pressed up against me, his lips so soft and inviting. I find myself dazing off into space, my thoughts diving deep into his blue eyes, the eyes that never looked away from the moment he saw me. Arden. Oh, why couldn't he have stayed longer that night. 'Arden' god, even his name is perfect.

"Emerson, you're up next"

I imagine how those hands would feel sliding up my sensitive skin, and those lips covering me in soft kisses ...."Emerson Roy, are you listening. I said you are up next. Are you all stretched?" booms my dance coach, Madam Sophie. She's pissed, and quite rightly so. I have been utterly distracted, and these run through's are crucial to getting our performances correct.

"Yes, Madam Sophie, I'm stretched and ready" I stand quickly, getting ready to take my position.

The song begins and I sweep onto the dance floor, running through my solo act, my body taking over, my mind being subdued by the music. This is the only time I'm not stuck in my thoughts, driven instead by the melody, the lyrics, the music. As I plié, tendu and arabesque through my routine, my sole focus is on ensuring all my steps are flawless, my muscles operating from memories of years in training. This is my happy place. This is when I am most like me, my true me.

Abigail has joined Sam and I for lunch, knowing we can't get away from the studio today. I love her for always knowing what we need. Pushing my salad around my plate, I'm still distracted, I need to pull myself together, I have so much to lose if I don't focus. We lasted roughly fifteen minutes of general small talk, but I knew it wouldn't last.

"So Em, have we seen our mystery man again yet?" Abi asks, never been one to beat around the bush. 'And there it is....so much for keeping my focus'

I sigh, "No, nothing. Sam even made another visit to Clover on Saturday but never saw him" I wistfully respond. I won't lie, I am disappointed. I've never felt this way about anyone, I'm obsessed, inquisitive, and my body calls for him, yet I know nothing about him at all.

"Aw Sam, such a devoted bestie you are" Abi quips, giggling and giving him a gentle shoulder nudge. "I'm sure you went JUST to help out our gal here huh and absolutely nothing to do with a hunky bartender, what would Jeremy say?"

"Girl, my man is completely satisfied, and he knows I always come home to him. Just because I'm chained to the fence, does not mean I can't bark at the passing cars" jokes Sam. It's true though, Jeremy has seen Sam in full force, and he's not bothered at all. I can't help feeling envious, I want so much to have that bond, that total trust and security, the stability and the love. Geez, what's with me today.

"Look I appreciate you guys trying to help, but it was just a moment, more like a dream really. We didn't even have a conversation. I don't even know his full name" not that i didn't want too, because truth be told, besides dancing I've never wanted anything more.

"We saw the chemistry Emerson; you can't fake that. It was real. He wanted you. You wanted him. It's meant to be, I just know it!" Abi's positive and persistent, I will give her that. Sadly, the past two years have left me scorned and untrusting, so unsure of anything

"I'm not denying that Ab's, but if Arden wanted to be found, he'd have given me more to work with than just a first name. Besides, I need t..."

"Focus" they both said, as I rolled my eyes at their not so subtle reminder of my predictability.