Heroes at Hogwarts

forty | avoiding friends and avoiding stares

nico

Nico opened his eyes to the sound of tree branches rustling and the shade that covered his face. He was laying on something hard, and someone's arms were wrapped around him.

Before Nico attacked Will, he remembered- this isn't the 1900s, Will is my boyfriend, and we fell asleep together while working on strategies.

He was still getting used to Will Solace, who was overly enthusiastic about the whole idea. He was still getting used to Will Solace's bright smiles and blonde hair, his hands when they rested on Nico's shoulders. He still wasn't used to all the stares. Most were loving, some were loathing. Will said it was just the way things were these days. You couldn't be gay any more than you could be a mudblooded wizard. Reyna was less accepting of other's opinions. She wanted to smite everyone that stared at them. Ginny was ready and willing to help her. Nico loved them for that, but what he wanted more than anything was for Bianca to be there next to him when people jeered at him in the hallways.

And he was still confused. 

"Hey," Will's tired voice echoed next to his ear. "You okay?" He yawned.

Nico could see his face, but he knew the other boy's eyes were closed. "Yeah," Nico mumbled, "all good."

Will pulled Nico tighter to his chest. "No you're not. Worried?"

Nico coughed and pushed out of Will's embrace slightly. "No."

Will frowned at him. "Neeks, what's up?"

Nico ran a hand through his hair. It was longer than he liked to keep it, but he wasn't a fan of magic scissors, so McGonagall and Pomfrey hadn't been able to get close to him with them. "Nothing, I just...I'm tired of all of this."

"You want to go back home." Will reached for his hand. "I get that."

"No." Nico shook his head, simultaneously trying to get Will to listen to him and trying to shake the tears forming in his eyes. He didn't know why he was crying. He wasn't scared or sad. He wasn't a child anymore. He was the son of Hades. He was one of the key demigods in two wars. He shouldn't be crying in the middle of a field with strange wizards all around him.

"Neeks." Will took hold of his hand. "You know you can talk to me, right?" Will looked scared. Nico didn't blame him. His boyfriend had woken up to him on a rampage. Haha, oops.

He ran a hand through his hair again. Will said it was a nervous tell of his. Nico hated that he knew that. "I don't know what's going on."

"Harry and Percy will be okay," Will said. He sounded like he was walking on glass. "And so will we. Everyone will be fine."

"It's not everyone I'm worried about," Nico blurted, "is that selfish? To only be worried about myself, my sisters, and you?"

"No," Will said, "it's not selfish at all. Everyone has those feelings. If you and Piper were falling off a cliff, who would Jason save?"

"Piper," Nico said without hesitation. He knew no matter how much the son of Zeus pretended, he didn't really want the son of Hades, his cousin, around.

"Exactly." Nico doubted Will knew what it sounded he was agreeing to. "Nico, you want to keep the people you love safe. You love everyone here, Hazel, Reyna, Jason, Piper, Annabeth. The thing is who you feel closest to is who you want to keep safest. I can relate."

Nico stared at him. He was still leaning against the tree. He looked completely at home, in this field where the grass was turning greener and the wind growing warmer. That was something else that bothered Nico. Will was too comfortable here, too at peace with the wizards. Would he even want to come home, when all of this was over? Nico worried the answer was no.

He stared at his boyfriend. The thing was, Nico hadn't spoken all of the things driving him into this frenzy. "And you, Will." He ran a hand through his hair again. Then he stopped himself. He didn't need Will knowing he was nervous.

"What?" Will asked. He crossed his legs and sat up slightly, his back no longer on the trunk. "What do you mean?"

"I can't do...this anymore." Nico threw his hands in the air.

Will stood quickly. "What are you talking about?" His eyes were narrowed and his hair had a twig in it.

"Us. I'm not like you. I can't handle people staring, I can't handle people's whispers."

Will rubbed his temples like Nico was speaking another language. Then, in a whisper, repeated himself, "What?"

"I'm from the 1900s, Will! This was basically illegal then!"

"This?"

"You know what I mean."

"Neeks, no, you're just stressed."

"No, I'm not."

Will stared at him. His eye was twitching, something that Kayla had said only happened when he was completely baffled. His hair still had a twig in it.

"Is this about something else?" He asked in a small voice.

Nico raised an eyebrow. "What would something else mean?"

"That you just...that you just didn't love me." Will was looking down, his hair hanging in his eyes. If he looked up now, he'd see the twig. Nico had never seen him look so depressed.

"Will...no. Of course not."

"Then why are we having this conversation?"

"I'm just... I need time," Nico explained. Of course he still loved Will. He didn't think he could stop that. But whispers and glares... he wanted to be back home, where he and Will could be who they were without people judging them.

"How much time?" Will asked. He looked up at Nico, and the younger boy almost faltered. He almost went back on everything.

"I don't know," he whispered once he composed himself. "I don't know."

"So that's it then?" Will asked. "I can't come see you in the morning, no more games in the grass, no more midnight kitchen runs?"

Nico's chest rattled, and he knew he was about to break down. "No."

Will turned away from him, like he knew how close Nico was to breaking and just how much Nico didn't want him to see that. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I love you too," Nico promised.

"I know."

Before he could walk away, Nico grabbed his hand. "Not long, Will, just some time."

"I know."

"And we...we'll be fine."

"I know."

"Will, I love you."

"I know."

Will just looked at him. His mouth was stretched into a permanent frown and the twig was almost out of his hair. Nico looked up at him. His eyes were watering. For once he wasn't going to be mad if he cried in front of Will.

"Don't cry." Will kissed his forehead. "I love you, too."

And then he walked away. The twig fell from his hair. Nico picked it up and watched him go. 

This had nothing to do with time or social situations. Nico frowned as Will walked right to Hagrid's hut instead of to Calypso and Piper laying on the grass with books.

Would Will want to come home? Nico frowned. He knew the boy too well, and the answer was no.

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I hated writing that, just to let everyone know. 

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