Jaemin the Icy Prince and Me - Na Jaemin NCT

21. I Guess I Love You

He ploughs towards me like a Category A typhoon sparing nothing in his path, pounding, breaking and snapping the twigs, and crushing the fallen leaves beneath the onslaught of his blind raging tread.

He grinds to a stop before me, and says, his voice rising in fury, "Since when do you decide when the show ends? Since when is it up to you? Remember the deal we made in the alley? I decide when the show ends, I'm the one who calls the shots. Not you. Me. Na Jaemin. I decide. And I say, it's not over, it'll never be over between us. Do you hear me? Are you listening to me? You belong to me. You're my girl. So you just stay where you are. Don't budge, don't you dare move a finger, because you are my girl! Got that?"

He's yelling at me until his face is red, and his voice is shaking.

I've never seen him so mad, except maybe that day, in the rain, when that car almost hit me.

"Don't yell at me," I yell back, startling a few pigeons quietly pecking at the grassy verge of the stream.

"I'm yelling at you because you're an idiot!"

"I'm just telling you I love you, okay!" I yell. "Doesn't it bother you that I love you? Doesn't it annoy you, and bore you to death, and make you sick?"

"No, it doesn't!"

"Yes, it does!"

"No, it doesn't!"

"Yes, it does!"

"I SAY, NO, IT DOESN'T! BECAUSE I LIKE IT, YOU HEAR??!! I LIKE IT, OKAY??!!"

He's yelling so loud the birds are squawking like crazy in the trees.

"What did you say?" I whisper, staring at him.

"I SAID, I LIKE THAT YOU LOVE ME!!!! I LIKE THAT YOU LOVE ME BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!"

Omg.

My legs are shaking so hard I stumble a little.

He shoots out his arms at once, and grabs me.

"Are you okay?" He pulls me into his arms, and his face changes, softens. "Hey, Mina, you're not going to pass out on me, are you? Oh, crap..."

He hugs me to him tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I yelled at you. You see what you've done to me. You're turning me into a raving lunatic. I mean, just look at me, I'm the calmest guy alive, but look at me now, you keep making me mad all the time...it's annoying..."

"Jaemin?" I say, burrowing into his chest, feeling his heart thumping beneath my face.

"Yeah?"

"Did you - really say that you love me?" I draw away from him, and look up into his eyes.

He pulls me down to sit next to him on a boulder at the edge of the stream.

"Listen to me," he says seriously. "I will only say this once. This thing I'm going to say is exactly the kind of thing that annoys me, and makes me sick..." He grits his teeth, and takes a deep breath. "Are you ready?"

"Okay," I say.

"I don't know what love is. I've never loved a girl before. Sure I've kissed girls, lots of them," I flinch, I can't help it, and he puts his hands, warm, over mine, and says, looking steadily into my eyes, "I think about you all the time. I wonder what you're doing all the time. Has she eaten her dinner? Is she doing her homework? Is she taking a nap? Has she taken her shower?"

He falters, and strokes my cheeks.

"I think about you first thing in the morning when I wake up. I think about you last thing at night when I go to sleep. I think of you when I'm in the shower, when I'm eating my breakfast, when I'm online, when I'm offline, all the time, non-stop, it's crazy, it's annoying."

He takes my wrist, and brushes his fingertip over it gently, and says, "And you know what's the worst, the absolute worst thing ever? I can't stop worrying about you. That day, when that piece of garbage hurt you, I was so mad he touched you, I wanted to kill him. And when you almost got knocked down by that car, I was so afraid, and I've never, ever, been afraid of anything, or anyone, in my life. But that day, I watched that car come so close to you, and I felt faint, I thought you'd been hit, and I was so afraid..." He swallows. "And then, I got so mad at you for making me feel this way, for making me afraid...I don't like to feel afraid, it makes me feel weak, and I don't want to be weak, I want to be strong, I AM strong, it's just that, I don't know, you have a way of getting under my skin, and sniffing out my weak spots..."

"And then, I grabbed your wrist and dragged you home, because I was afraid to let you out of my sight, it was raining, and I was worried that you wouldn't notice if a car was coming at you, because you're such an idiot...and then, I got mad with myself for hurting you. Because all I want to do is to protect you, and take care of you, but I end up hurting you...so I hated myself for that, and that's the oddest thing, because I'm very happy with myself, no complaints at all, and I only started hating myself after I met you..."

"Then I hated watching Leean sit next to you, and flirt with you, and make donkey's eyes at you, I wanted to knock his teeth out, and stuff that chicken wing down his throat...and Leean's a great guy, I like him, but I hated him yesterday...I still hate him, and if he makes a move on you later, I'm going to kick his ass off the coach, I swear to God..."

"So, that's it, that's how I feel about you..." His voice trails off, and then he looks into my eyes, and says softly, "And, if love means worrying about you all the time, and wanting to see you all the time, and missing you when you're not there, and waiting for you to text or call, even though I said you can't, and walking past your class just to see your face, and feeling this weird tug in my heart when I see you chatting, or smiling, or laughing, and feeling glum when you're mad at me, and wanting to hold you and kiss you all the time..."

He draws a deep breath, and says slowly, quietly, "If thats what love is, then I guess I love you, Kim Mina, and it's annoying the crap out of me, but I don't think I can stop myself from loving you..."

He stops speaking, and looks at me.

There is a strange mix of shyness and uncertainty in his eyes, and earnestness, and determination too.

How hard it must have been for him to unveil himself, to open up his heart for me to see.

"Oh, Jaemin..." I'm crying, my tears spilling over.

He brushes away my tears with both of his hands. We stare into each other's eyes, and I hold my breath, and then he leans in slowly, and we kiss softly, tenderly, lingeringly...

We draw away, and then he rises and pulls me to my feet.

He says, looking steadily down upon my upturned face, "So, do you, Kim Mina, take me, Na Jaemin, to be your awfully real boyfriend, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part?"

"I do," I breathe, and our lips cling, as we kiss.