Two Secret Diaries || Hyunin

10.

Hyunjin

"Oh my! This is bad! The manager called me today to have a "talk". And by talk I mean scolding. I felt like shit, honestly.

I always try my best in everything I engage in and work hard until I can do it properly. I'm nice to everybody and it's important for me to have a good impression on people, especially on hyungs and the staff.

But my plan about Jeongin could not achieve such a goal. I feel ashamed of myself, especially since the manager noticed something was going on.

He doesn't know the true reason, he just thought I was holding grudges against Jeongin and he said it will affect the whole team if I didn't try to solve it.

He said I deceived him, and that was the worst part for me. Actually, it wasn't even a proper scolding, he didn't raise his voice or anything but the words hurt like hell to me.

I can't stand deceiving people or myself. And there I did both! The manager said he wasn't going to say anything about it if I could resolve it myself with Jeongin. I promised I would.

Great, now I'm trapped. I'm so stupid, I can't believe it! Because not only my plan failed: the feelings I have did absolutly not dissolve but also I was noticed by the manager! And if that wasn't enough, I hurt my most precious maknae Jeongin. I feel terrible about it.

I have to stop being an idiot and try to make things alright again!"

With this resolution in mind, Hyunjin can't wait another minute before resolving the mess he created. So during the break at the TV station, he comes finding Jeongin.

His head low and still feeling like totally underserving of Jeongin's friendship but determined to try at least to be forgiven, he shyly asks to have a talk with the maknae.

Jeongin is surprised by his hyung's behavior and the fact that he is no longer giving him the silent treatment, accepts and follows him to an empty tiny changing room.

Hyunjin, who is struggling to look up, finally lifts his head up and stares into Jeongin's eyes while stuttering:

- I-I'm... s-sorry Jeongin. I'm so... s-sorry I-I acted like that... like... like a jerk. I d-didn't want to... to hurt you, I-I promise! P-please, please... f-forgive me. I am... I'm so... so... so sorry!

At this point he is begging the maknae, getting down onto his kness and rubbing his hand together to aks for forgivness, tears threathening to fall.

The maknae, taken aback but also relieved, holds Hyunjin back up immediatly.

- Hyung!... It's alright, I forgive you.

- R-really? Hyunjin whispers, not quite believing the maknae's words.

- Yeah. Just don't ignore me again, please! Jeongin begs.

- I-I won't! I promise! assures Hyunjin.

- But Hyung, I wanna know what happened. 

Hyunjin is speechless, he has not prepared an answer for that.

- Did I do something wrong? asks Jeongin, worried.

- No! Of course not! I'm sorry! exclaims the older.

Jeongin is relieved to hear this but still can't understand why he was treated this way.

- But why? he asks again.

All Hyunjin can say is "I'm sorry!" with a hint of a blush on his cheeks when thinking about the reason he cannot say outloud.