Vacancy

22. Enough.

The tighter Brandon held me, the more I cried, and even through my blurred vision, I could tell it was getting light outside. "we should go inside" he spoke softly, I was still naked, and beginning to shiver in the cold, morning air. He kept his arm around me trying to warm me, and rubbed his hand up and down my arm. I was still sniffling, trying to stop the tears, but I was an emotional wreck. We got to the top of the steps, Brandon picked up his shirt, and closed the sliding doors behind us. I slowly wandered accross the kitchen and picked up my dress, I pulled it back up, over my body and we sat down at the counter, as we had done earlier that morning. "what's going to happen?" I asked Brandon, he picked up our glasses and filled them both with fresh water. He passed one to me and I drank the whole glass in one, placing it back down on the counter. "honestly, I dont know." he replied, sipping his water slowly. He stood opposite me at the counter and played with his glass between his hands. "are you going to tell Jai?" he asked, looking up at me. I stared down at my empty glass "are you going to tell anyone?" he asked again, I didn't say a word. I stood up, and made my way over to the sink, pouring another glass of water. Brandon stood behind me and grabbed onto my waist. "I won't say anything to anyone, not if you don't want me to, but I don't know if I can stay away from you Jess." he spoke into my ear. I turned to face him, and placed my water beside the sink.

His hands were resting on the sink, either side of me now, he looked down at me, his eyes asking the same questions over again." I don't know what I'm going to Brandon, I love Jai, I really do, but you just get me. The connection between us is something I've never felt with anyone else, but lust isn't love." I said back at him. He nodded in agreement. I felt him begin to move away from me, and I grabbed him, making him stay close. Before I knew what was happening I was kissing him again. This time it was different, it was sweet and caring. He stroked my back gently, the kisses were short, and addictive, i just wanted them more, and more. "i cant help myself around you, but this is enough." he whispered "go to bed, we can talk another time." he kissed my forehead, then turned and finished his water. "I'm Gonna walk home, I'll see you later Jess" he exited the room, and I ran after him.
"wait" I called and came level with him in the hallway, "thank you, for being so understanding, and not pressuring me into anything. You're a decent guy Brandon, and I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be." I pecked him on the cheek, he opened the front door, and stepped out into the crisp air once more. "I don't want you to be anything other than you Jess." he smiled, a smile full of pain and angst, and closed the door behind him.

I dragged my limp body up the stairs, Arielle was still passed out in bed, fully clothed. It was 6:42 am, i groaned as I made my way into the bathroom, exhaustion washed over me. I stood in front of the mirror, I looked a mess, my makeup had smeared all over the place, my hair was ragged and one of my Eyelashes had dissappeared. I pulled the other eyelash off placed beside the sink, took a makeup wipe from the packet and scrubbed at my face. I was too tired to clean my face properly right now, I could fix it when I woke up. My head was pounding, the hangover had definitly started to kick in, I thought the water would save me, but apparently not. I used the toilet quickly, and flushed, praying no one would wake up. Heading back into my room, I slipped off my dress and draped it over the dressing table chair, pulled some pyjamas from my drawer and put them on. I walked around to the other side of my bed and climbed in, wrapping myself in the covers. Arielle's mouth was wide open, drool escaping it, snoring a little, and her hair was covering most of her face. I brushed the hair away and tucked it behind her ear, she grunted a little, before turning to face in the opposite direction. She continued to snore. I rolled over and faced the window, I could see the birds waking up for the day, flying around, making as much noise as possible. I thought about Brandon walking home, hoping he was okay. He'd probably be back now, getting into his own bed. I remembered the way he held me, his soft touch, his comforting arms. I hugged my pillow, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

-

I woke up to the sound of music, blaring from Jordan's room. I stretched out, Arielle was no longer beside me, and my door was ajar. I looked at the clock on my bedside table, 3:27pm. I yawned and stretched out under the covers, desperately wanting to go back to sleep, but knowing I had to get up and fix myself. I dropped my legs down first, and soon my body followed, lifting my head was the hardest part. It still ached, and my stomach churned a little as I stood upright. I wobbled over to the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet, waiting to pee, but nothing came. I sat a few minutes, but nothing. Fed up, I flushed the toilet, out of habit, and began to wash my hands. I grabbed an exfoliant from the cupboard and washed my face, letting all the left over makeup and dirt from last night swill around the sink, and into the drain. I felt like I wanted to be the water right now, just escape and slide into an ocean somewhere. Maybe surfing would cheer me up, it was a little late now, but tomorrow was a new day, and it had been a while. Jordan's music got louder, as I heard his door open and then a faint knock came at my own door. I dried my hands and face on a towel, and tied my hair up, in a messy bun. I left the bathroom and Jordan stood in the entrance of my room. "you're alive!" he laughed at the sight of me, and jabbed me in the ribs. I groaned and brushed my face with my hands, "have a fun night?" I winked at him and ruffled my hands through his hair, "where's Marla now?"

"I took her home a few hours ago, she passed out almost as soon as we got into my room, nothing happened" he shrugged in disappointment, now I felt even more guilty about fucking his best friend. "how's Brandon?“ I asked, wanting to know that he got home okay, and what he had told Jordan on the waterfront." he's fine... Why are you so interested" he glared at me, waiting for a reply, I sat down at my dressing table, took my hair down and began to brush it. "I'm not, just wondered what happened at the waterfront last night. That was weird" I said back to him, avoiding eye contact. I brushed the last few knots out of the ends of my hair, and tied it back up, this time half in a Ben, the other half cascading down my back. The blue looked so bright in the light coming through my window, It really felt like me. "ah he ran into an Ex at the club, she lead him on, and then shot him down. Nothing major, I think hes just hung up on her a little, but he'll be fine. The kids lonely, he needs a girlfriend" Jordan finally disclosed what Brandon had told him last night, little did he know, I was that ex. "poor guy" I said as we exited my room, Jordan returned to his room, and I tackled the Stairs.