My Boyfriend , Atlas .

4.

turtle
A symbol of longevity, turtles Survived extinction when the dinosaurs didn't. Some live up to 200 years without
appearing to age at all.
How?
By never rushing life and, at the first sign of stress, heading in to the quiet comfort of their custom mobile homes.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the turtle because at the very first sign of stress I cowardly pretend I am non existent. Not present for a moment or two . Anything to evade the pain .

I like to pretend that I'm a coward but really I'm just scared to lose control. That's why I liked Wanzeru maybe , he was not afraid to lose control. Every moment with him was a wild and exciting undertaking (not necessarily lawful) .

Well, I would've said starstruck, but that sounds a bit true-love-y.
Perhaps infatuated or something twisted like that.
Personally, thinking back, I'd describe the feeling as gleeful. When we shared a look and a smile, something inside me fluttered in my stomach call it butterflies.

I think that when you are young and you can't really tell for sure whether it's love when you meet someone for the first time, the word that comes to mind is "intriguing". A person that for an inexplicable reason has a magnetizing effect upon you. Until you realize at least that you are in love or obsessed or ecstatic when something good happens or miserable when something bad happens.

"Is it awkward if I stare? Is it awkward if he's staring? Ok, this is really awkward." These were the thoughts running through my head over the hour I spent trying to discreetly stare at Wanzeru. But he was sitting next to another girl . "Is that his date? Why would he be staring at me if he was with someone else? Maybe they're just friends."

Wishful thinking. The man of my dreams was now leaving with his date. Twenty minutes later, I see him again. This time he's running back into the bar and B lining it towards me.
Panting, he says,
"Hey! I'm Wanzeru. I'm not sure if you noticed, but I've been star
ing at you all night while I was on the worst blind date ever."

I was speechless. He continued, "I just walked her home and had to come see if you were still here."
As I stared at him, my friend nudged me to respond.

We then spent the rest of the night walking around Zambezi and learning all about each other. Unfortunately, I found out that Ndola was home for Wanzeru , and he would be leaving to head back in 2 weeks. Lucky for us, it only took one night to decide we would battle through the distance. Our magical movie-like night has since been topped by many incredible adventures together. But like all good things there is an end . First it was the distance then it was the differences ..eventually we just drifted apart and never spoke again . Those feeling have since faded and I've been over him ever since . I think.