Hopefully. [Poetry]

18. Stuck

It's weird how well I can understand,
Understand the meaning of being stuck.
It's like I am living the word.

I really just wish to disappear sometimes,
The world seems to be moving to fast.
So is everyone.
Except me.

I am still the same me I was when you first met me.
Its my fault I didn't change, right?
I am the one living with the memories,
In hopes to make more.
Not even realising I am being left behind.
Dumb isn't it?

Why does it have to be like this?
Why do I have to rush into everything like everyone?
Is it really that bad if I am stuck in a pause,
If I am waiting just to admire our old polaroid,
To admire my mistakes and my retakes?

I am sorry I dont want to live my life filled with rush and thrills like a lighting in the clouds,
I am sorry for wanting to be a wave in the ocean,
That when wants to, can be a smoothly surfing beach wave
Or a hell of a tsunami.

No, I am not living my life in the past.
Neither am I depressed.
I am just taking my time to know me better.
To believe in me.
And my abilities.
And I am fudging sorry if I don't go by the schedule the world has set up.
I am sorry I am not scared that death might catch up to me,
That I am missing out on my life's best years.

I am soo sorry I am stuck,
Thus forcing you guys to leave me.
But more over, I am really sorry,
For not truely being sorry for
Who i am.

AN: i wrote this listening to mono, may or may not have cried. Especially  Uhgood is soo underrated. Its my fav.

Also thank you girl, my rock, my support and might i say my wattpad bestie.Taexkookie99. You are literally my main hoe.

I am not sure if i said this before but i write how i feel, when i feel it.
Sorry if this was cringey.

Also i never ever completely proof read my chapters. Sorry for the errors.