Just Another Deal...

A Memory to Let go...

I realised something changed and yet nothing changed at all. Just a feeling I had but to me, it finally felt like time was moving forward. Where everything felt stagnant and frozen, now seemed like I could breathe again. As I sat here eating breakfast not having anything to do today, feeling the calmest I've been in a long while I couldn't stop the smile that kept returning.

Was this love? Probably not but it was something nice. It was sweet and simple and and for once I felt needed and heard. Maybe there is something wrong wiith me, if I can so easily forget all he's done. Yet, for the first time in quite some time I felt like I could belong.

Hearing the stairs squeek I look up to see Ford coming around. "Morning" I smile up at Him, seeing the bags that are under His eyes. "Good Morning Dipper" He greets back before starting to make some Coffee. An awkward silence follows, I haven't seen much of him since he told us all about the weirdness. "So how has your research been going?" I ask trying to fill the silence. Sighing He turns to me and looks so frustrated "Honest not as well as I would of hoped" I suppose I could ask Bill about this...wait! Duh why didn't I realise this before. If I asked Bill he'd no doubt know what was happening.

Smiling again I guess I could take a breather and not have to worry too much about it for now. "I'm sure you'll figure it out Ford"I comfort him a little feeling bad I couldn't tell him I'd already knew somone that could maybe help. Sighing again He smiles a little "Thanks Dipper, your right no reason to get discouraged, I bet I'm close to a break through."perking up he pours him a cup and waves before heading down to his lab.

Smiling I decide to go Into town today. Getting up and washing my dishes I hear the floor boards squeek again. "Dipper?..." I hear Mabel speak. Turning to her "yeah?" Looking like a scolded child she looks at me "are you busy?" She asks "Not really...was going to head into town" she lights ups and practically shouts "Really!?...uh do you think I could come with you....we could hang out...maybe?" She rambles before falling silent. Thinking about it, And seeing her hopeful look I crumble "yeah, I guess you could" she smiles and shouts "Yay! Twin bonding!" Before running up the stairs to no doubt get ready. So much for time alone, oh well leaving the dishes in the dish rack to dry I decide to go wait in the living room.

It's a small step but at least its movement, I just need some to gain more trust that you won't leave again.
If I'm being honest with myself I still go back on better times.

Maybe I tried to see you the same way I did before, tried to find the person I knew. Tried to believe You'd return to me, that one day you'd find me. Yet each day it stayed the same, I tried to fit into the small space you saved for me. I couldn't even if I tried I just couldn't find my place. Maybe I was kidding myself and that place was no longer there.

While I love you and you love me, we're just no longer able to see each other the same way as before. Too different to be each others half. I'm tired, tired of trying, I'm not a strong person. The sugar coated words and broken promises just kept piling up. Maybe its better we forget and maybe we should stop trying.

For once I'd like to be the reckless one, and maybe you could save me from my mistakes. I want to be the one shouting and crying. Why couldn't you see the pain and sadness that clouded me, That I wished to say goodbye.... why, why did you only notice now that your alone, why try now....no! I wont fall back into your shadow, I crawled so far away to be free, swore to myself I'd let the memories go,let them all die and fade into the night. I'm a fool though, well always be tied to each other. Could never fully be free... I need more time maybe, we both do. Time to heal, all the strife you cause me, leaves me with very little to handle and it made me wary to trusting you again. Betrayal hurts, only more when it was you. Hearing her foot steps as they come thundering down I smile, thinking she's like a puppy."ready to go?" I ask smiling brightly I guess now is the time work it all out, I'm scared and Don't want to get my hopes up. Still clouded with uncertainties and doubtful of so much, but I don't want to walk away from this. I don't want to have regrets amd I know not trying will be one of those things that would wind up sadden and trouble me.

Ok, so this was something I had trouble deciding i had like three options for the story next chapter is repairing...well starting to repair their relationship. Then it was either stan and ford, cause we need more of them or dipper and bill talk about weirdness.
Hmm Decisions Decisions this was picked.
Hope you loved this one its got another part to it, byeee!^^)/