At Home

Gone

A/N - this took so long

John's POV

   I love Alex and I'm about to do something really stupid.
   "John, come on!" Laf literally yanked me one of the car and I swallowed hard. It's Friday which means Alex is officially officially off his period and back at work. Which is exactly where we are and Alex is going to kill me. Laf and Herc dragged me in and I died. Right as we stepped in Rock You Like A Hurricane by Scorpion started playing and the one person seductively stepped on the stage. The club went crazy as my beautiful boyfriend sainted to his pole wearing full lingerie. His scars shown in the light and his brown hair hung at his shoulders. I grabbed the poked and walked in a few circles. He climbed up to the top of the eight foot pole and spun all the way down. "Wow." Laf mumbled.
   "Alex got game." The chorus came and Alex slipped to the floor to gather tips.
   "I hate you both. I'm not lying to my boyfriend." I pushed through the crowd to where Alex was spinning on the pole again. I pulled out a a dollar bill and when saw me he nearly fell. I smiled sheepishly and waved the dollar around. Alex looked hurt, then angry, then pissed. He slid down the pole and I held out my dollar. He seductively crawled toward me and yanked me forward.
   "John, you shouldn't be here he growled. I am not taking you money." I smiled and smiled my dollar in the hem of his panties with the rest. He sighed and crawled back to his pole. Laf and Herc appeared next to me and Alex started doing some pretty intense stuff. I just watched with a love sick smile and admired my boyfriend. He hung upside down and showed of his gorgeous ass. I love him and his body. He's the only person who could make me be attracted to the female body. When the song ended Alex said something to Maria and disappeared back stage. Maria grinned and took Alex's bar. Within two minutes someone grabbed my arm and towed me through the club and out the door. Alex was wearings green silk robe over his lingerie and tears on his rosy cheeks.
   "Let me explain."
   "NO, JOHN! I SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU TO NEVER COME HERE! I TRUSTED YOU! I BELIEVED THAT YOU'D ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME BUT GOD! IM JUST STUPID!"
   "Alex, please-"
   "I HAD FAITH IN YOU AND YOU LET ME DOWN!"
   "Lafayette made me. I swear! He literally told me we were going to dinner. I didn't want too...Why don't you want me to be here?"
   "BECAUSE I DONT WANT YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THIS! IM DISGUSTING AND VIAL! IM A SLUT, JOHN! IM A WHORE! THERE IS NO GETTING AROUND IT AND YOU CANT SAVE ME!" Alex pulled his robe tighter around him and I shrugged off my jacket. "Do not." I stopped and Alex looked away. "Go home. I'm staying until closing. Don't bother picking me up."
   "Alex-"
   "You've done enough. Please. Just go." I watched walk away and tears streamed down my face. I grabbed my phone and called Laf.
   "Take me home."
   "What? But we haven't-"
   "DAMN IT, LAFAYETTE! TAKE ME THE FUCK HOME, YOU FRENCH BASTARD!" The car ride home was not pleasant...at all.

   "John, what happened?" Laf asked quietly when I got home.
   "You told me we were going to dinner."
   "I knew you wouldn't go if you knew-"
   "DAMN RIGHT I WOULDNT HAVE!" I slammed my fist into the wall and Laf jumped. "I FUCKING RESPECT MY BOYFRIEND AND HE WONT SPEAK TO ME!"
   "John, I'm sorry."
   "Get out. Just get out...please." Laf retreated into the elevator and I sobbed on the floor.

   I may or may not have tried to pick him up anyway.  He was no where to be seen so I stepped into the club. I looked around and headed over to Sam.
   "Sam, have you seen Alex?" He glanced at me and went back to wiping the counter.
   "No."
   "Sam, please! I'm worried about him!"
   "He got off at midnight and left." Sam sighed.
   "No!" I ran out and started to panic.

   It's been a week. I still can't find Alex. It's getting colder and I'm getting worried more and more. I cry everyday and I'm always out looking for him. I haven't slept properly in a week. Laf keeps telling he's probably fine but no one's seen him. Not even his boss, Adams. Right now I'm out in Central Park, trying to clear my head and anchor myself. It's a pretty cold night and I found myself crying because of Alex. I swear I saw his converse poking of the bush but I thought I was crazy. Still, I did a double take and HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I rushed over and peered into the bushes to find Alex shivering in the brush.
   "Alex?" He weakly turned his head and stared.
   "Johnny-"
   "Shhhhh, Baby Girl." I pulled him out of the bushes and he fell against me. "Oh god. You're frigid." It was true, Alex was freezing and super weak. "You haven't eaten, have you?"
   "N-no."
   "Ok. Let's get you home."
   "N-no. I-I'm mad-d at y-you."
   "You can be mad at me when you not dying." I wrapped my jacket around him and hurriedly carried him to the car. I turned the heater all the way up to warm him and tried not to break down.
   "J-Johnny?"
   "Yes?"
   "I'm sorry." He whispered, I reached over and rubbed his bare thigh. Between the frilly skirt and t-shirt there was no way of warmth. He was curled up in the seat, shivering like crazy and breathing heavily.
   "Ok, ok. I'm sorry too. Just stay alive for me, ok?" I glanced over at Alex and sped up. "Can you do the for me?"
   "I think s-" he trailed off and his eyes closed.
   "Siri, call Laf."
   "Hello?"
   "Go down up to my penthouse and make it as warm as possible."
   "What? Why?"
   "I found him. I found Alex. He's as cold as ice and slightly delirious."
   "Got it."  Five more minutes and so pulled into my parking spot. I pulled Alex shivering out of his seat and ran into the elevator. When the doors opened Alex and I were hit with a wall of heat. I carried him to the bedroom and laid him in the bed. I sat next to him and he shivered under blankets. Laf and Herc made Alex hot cocoa and beamed.
   "Hey, Baby Girl. You still with me?"
   "I made myself a promise." He croaked. "And I broke it." He sobbed.
   "Shhhhhh, just rest."
   "I love you, John Laurens." He breathed before letting his eyes drift closed and exhaling once more.
   "Alex? ALEX!" I shook him a bit and Herc pulled me off while Laf got to work. He took me to the couch and I sobbed into Alex's favorite pillow.
   "John, come quick." I ran into our bedroom and dropped by Alex's side. He reached over and weakly held my hand.
   "Alex?"
   "Hm?"
   "I didn't tell you something."
   "Wha-"
   "I love you, Alexander Hamilton." Alex smiled and shivered. I crawled into bed with him and he snuggled into my warmth.
   "Johnny, it's cold."
   "I know, baby. Just stay close."
   "It's so cold." Laf and Herc dipped quietly and I stroked Alex's hair.
   "I know, I know. I'm so sorry. Just sleep, ok?"
"Ok." Alex whispered.

I woke up to Alex still shivering in my arms. I, however, am sweating like hell. It's fucking hot but I care too much about Alex. I slid out of bed and wrapped him in more blankets before heading to the kitchen. I started fixing breakfast and worrying about Alex.

"J-Johnny-" Alex stumbled into the kitchen and I rushed to him.
"Alex!" I caught him before he could fall and started walking him back to the bedroom. "Baby, you're freezing. You need to stay in bed."
"Jacky, you're sweating." Alex stammered, his teeth chattered and I laid him down. "Turn the heater down."
"No, baby. You're still shivering. I'm making breakfast. I'll be in the other room."
"Ok." I kissed his forehead and ran to finish breakfast. I got a phone call and I held my phone between my ear and shoulder as I cooked.
"John! I need you to come in."
"Dad, now's not a good ti-"
"THE HELL IT IS! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE IN THE NEXT HOURS OR I'LL HAVE YOU HEAD SERVED ON A SILVER PLATTER!" He hung up and I sighed, dumped eggs on a plate for Alex. I got a fork and headed into the steamy bedroom. Alex lay shivering uncontrollably under a heap of blankets and I sighed. I set the plate in the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed. I stroke Alex's hair and watched my Lexi shiver.
"Oh, baby."
"I'm so cold." He whimpered.
"I know, I'm sorry."
"You had every right."
"What?"
"I'm sorry for bitching at you. You had every right to be in that club. I just-"
"Shhhhhhh." I cooed and he shook his head.
"I just thought that if you saw me dance you'd hate me." I felt a pang in my heart and Alex laid his head in my lap.
"I could never hate you."
"You're not mad at me for running away?"
"Of course not! Baby, I'm in the wrong. You've done nothing. I disrespected you. For a whole week I hated myself and hated Laf. There was this tiny voice that kept telling me you were dead but I never let go. I never stopped looking for you and I'm eternally sorry."
"You were close."
"What?" I looked down and Alex grinned.
"You almost caught me a few times."
"WHAT!"
"Last night-" he paused to breathe. "I was running from you and I was cold and hungry but I couldn't let you find me. I couldn't fall back into your arms because I knew you'd hate me. So I started running. I ran and I eventually collapsed in the bush and you found me."
"Baby, why would you run?"
"I thought you hated me." He sobbed.
"No, no, no! I love you. I've always loved you! I could never hate you, baby." I brushed his hair back and smiled warmly. "I love you too much."
"I love you!" He sobbed, I helped him sit up and handed him the eggs.
"Baby, my dad wants me-"
"I'll be ok."
"But-"
"I'm not gonna run away. If I need something I'll call Laf or something. I won't get out of bed and I'll stay under the covers."
   "Baby-"
   "No, John. Go to work. I want you home in one piece, ok?" Alex stammered
   "Ok." I brushed his hair back and sighed. "I love you so much, Lexi." I cooed.
   "I love you too." I kissed him gently and held him close as he ate.
   "I am never letting you go, baby." Alex giggles quietly and I smelled him. "You scared me." I whispered, Alex leaned into me and shivered.
"You scared me." He mumbled.
"How?"
"I thought you'd hate me and kick me out if you saw me dancing. Especially in what I was wearing." He mumbled the last part and I chuckled.
   "I thought you looked so sexy." I purred in his ear, he giggled and leaned into me again. He kept leaning forward to eat his eggs.
   "Oh yeah?"
   "Oh yeah. Your body is amazing." I rubbed his thighs and listened to his giggling. "Please don't ever scare me like that again?"
   "I won't. I promise." He shivered and set the plate on the night stand, laying down. He rolled up in a shit ton of blankets and shivered.
   "I love you. Call me if you need me. I love you."
   "You said that."
   "And I'll say it a thousand times if it means I get to kiss you. I love you." I kissed him passionately and he giggled.
   "I love you too."