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Days

A/N - I've been having a bad day and the way I'm coping with it is every time something goes to shit I go 'fuckin' mint👌🏻'

Alexander's POV

   I puked the contents of my stomach into the trash can for the third time today and coughed. I grabbed a Kleenex and wiped my mouth as I straightened up. The poor man who's cologne was too strong stared at me and I smiled.
   "Terribly Sorry. I'm pregnant so-"
   "Oh. Congrats."
   "Thank you. Mr. Laurens will be out soon." I assured, Mr. Woodhull sat in a chair and I discreetly covered my nose. I sent John an email telling him to hurry up because this man smells bad. He sent back a laughing face and told me he was almost done. I sighed and leaned back in my chair. I was twelve weeks along by now and I was just now starting to show. It was a real blow to my self esteem and I lied to John. I was beginning to get dysphoric. I didn't want him to worry too much. He had enough on his hands as is. He now had full ownership of the company and he was kind of drowning in work. After a couple minutes of awkward silence and desperately trying not to make eye contact with Woodhull who was staring at me, John opened his office door and smiled.
   "Richard!" He smiled. "So good to see you. How are the kids?"
   "Reckless as ever." John laughed and ushered Woodhull into his office.
   "Are you ok?" John asked quietly, I nodded and he leaned in to kiss me.
   "Nope. I just threw up." John sighed and kissed my forehead instead.
   "I love you."
   "I love you too." I smiled, John disappeared and I leaned back in my chair again. I tried not to think about the fact that I was definitely not a boy and focused on playing coolmath. I calmly rubbed my small baby bump and closed my eyes. I needed a break and cuddles. Maybe after John's meeting we could lay down on the nice couch in his office. I desperately needed him, he's the only one who can stop the thoughts. I'm off my medication which means I'm fragile. John has definitely improved my mental health but he can't completely fix me. I'm still traumatized and even with the medication I was but I have never been dysphoric. I've always been ok with my body. I mean sure it's a little beat up but I have a nice body. Now that I'm twelve weeks pregnant it just makes it apparent that I'm a fuck up. I mean, I can't even get my gender right. I grabbed the trash can and puked again. I decided I should tell John since he already suspected my dysphoria and he would only worry more. When he finished his meeting I got up and made my way into his office.
"Hey, baby girl." I smiled a bit and John looked up from his papers. "What's wrong, hun?" He guided me to sit on his knee and I whimpered.
"I lied to you." I whispered.
"About what?" John frowned, I looked him in the eye as more of my lunch crept up my throat and I turned, puking into the trash can. John quickly pulled my hair back and I started sobbing.
"I'm not a boy, Jacky!" I wailed, John rested me on his hip and carried me to the couch. He laid down beside me and I burrowed in his arms.
"Yes, you are. You're the most beautiful boy. You're my beautiful boy." John cooed and stroked my hair. I slowly calmed down and lay sniffing beside him. "You're perfect, baby."
"I'm sorry." I stammered. "I lied to you."
"That doesn't matter-"
"You're just so stressed and you're already worried about me. I just didn't want you to worry more. I'm sorry. I should've told you. I just-" John gently pressed his lips against mine and I blushed.
"Stop apologizing for something that isn't your fault." He cooed.
"I'm scared, Johnny."
"I know, Peaches. I am too." John assured.
"How are you scared?" John looked at me and tried to figure out if I was being sarcastic. He sighed and looked down.
"I just don't wanna turn into my dad. I mean...my whole life was ruined because of him."
"You met me." I smiled.
"I guess that's a pro." John teased, I fake pouted and he kissed my nose. "I love you." He grinned, I giggled and buried my face in his neck. "You're so pretty, baby girl." He cooed, John winced and I kissed his jawline.
   "That's one of my favorite nicknames, baby boy." I hummed against John's neck and placed a hand on his hip. He put a hand on my stomach and rubbed small, calmly circles. "I love you, John."
   "Let me take you out tonight. We haven't gone out in ages, baby. I wanna take you out."
   "I don't know, John."
   "Or I can order pizza and we can stay in." John mumbled dejectedly.
   "No! I'll go out with you." I smiled and John sighed.
   "I know you don't want too-"
   "Baby, I love you. I'll go anywhere as long as I'm with you." John caressed my cheek and brushed it with his thumb.
"You're so perfect." John hummed and kissed me gently. He bent down and pulled up my shirt enough to kiss my stomach. "So are you, my little nugget." I giggled and played with John's hair as he nuzzled my stomach. "I know I've been a burden lately. I'm just worried about you. I want you and this baby to be safe. I love you too much."
"Jacky, I'll be ok."
"Baby, I know you're scared. I'm scared too. We have to do this together. All or nothing. I'm ready to have a family with you."
"But we aren't even married, John." I wept quietly, John kissed my hand and pressed our foreheads together.
"I wanted to tell you this over dinner but now is fine too." I frowned and John smiled. "Three day waiting period, right?" I nodded and John smirked. "Three days from now. Herc and I have been working around the clock and there will still be a nice wedding but we both said it doesn't need to be fancy. It's just like you wanted, Peaches."
"But-"
"What? Is something wrong? Is it too soon?"
"No. I just-...I love you." I smiled, kissing him gently.
"I love you too. I can't wait to be your husband." John hummed.
"Mr. Laurens-Hamilton will be right with you."
I hummed and kissed him again. John blushed and pulled me closer, kissing my neck. "Jacky!" I giggled hysterically.
"You're all mine, Mr. Hamilton-Laurens."'