Land of the Dead

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Tiffany fixed her scarf while her extremely thoughtful friend draped one of his coats around her shoulders. The breeze was extremely crisp, she was starting to shiver. When Chris walked towards the Fosters, Tiffany headed for another direction. "You go on ahead," she muttered. "I'll just visit my parents."

"I'll drive you there tomorrow. This weather's gonna give you a cold."

She shook her head. She never wanted to go out at daytime. Too many eyes. "Nah. I'll go, now that there aren't many people scattered around."

Chris understood immediately what she meant. "Wait here. I'll get the car."

"Chris, I can go alone."

"As if I'll let you." With that, he wrapped his arm across her shoulders and tugged her to the car, Dodger still following them.

"You told me to wait and now you're dragging me."

"I don't trust you, Foster... You just spilled my deepest darkest secret in there." He joked. "Better be safe than running after a traitorous friend on the street." He opened the door to the passenger's seat and she slid in. Dodger took the backseat this time.

Chris parked the car as close to Tiffany's parent's grave as possible. He turned off the engine and as he readied himself to get out of the vehicle, she latched on to his arm. "You don't have to walk with me. I want to go there alone."

From the faint glimmer of the moonlight, Chris could make out the pleading look on her face. He fidgeted from the driver's seat, his usual bright blue eyes darkened, lips tightened. And albeit his mind's objection, he nodded considerately.

Tiffany got out of the car with labored steps and all Chris could do was keep an eye on her sharply as her wispy back gradually moved away from where he was. The graveyard was deserted. The lampposts were too far to provide light to the area Tiffany was treading on. The waxing phase of the moon was of no help either.

Tiffany reached her destination with Chris still looking at her closely. There, between her parent's tombstones, she dropped to her knees. As her legs married with the uncut grass, the longing she had been holding for so long ripped her heart into a million dispiriting pieces. Her despair overflowing, shrouding her entire being.

All she ever wanted at that moment was to feel the warmth of her mother's embrace cradling her. But her shivering palms kissing the frozen gravestone was a cruel reminder that she could no longer hold her in this lifetime. And in that instant, no matter how much she held it in, the anguish of loss and of the past month had forsaken her eyes, streaming down her cheeks freely.

She clenched the top edge of the tombstone hoping that if she did that she'd feel her mother's presence. Unfortunately, it inflicted a more clear-cut void. Tiffany bowed her head down but even with her eyes shut the tears won't stop from flowing. It felt like her heart, which was torn into a million pieces, was being pulled out her chest one piece at a time.

Between the muffled sobs, she mumbled a gut-wrenching "I'm sorry." She leaned on the tombstone, sitting in fetal position. With her entire body shaking, she closed her eyes again, her mind speaking to her parents. I'm sorry mom, dad. I'm sorry I'm letting you down. I promised to be happy and strong, but I don't know how without you here. I'm sorry I brought shame to your good name. She clutched and tapped and clutched her chest. It was getting harder and harder for her to breathe. I don't know what to do, mom. What should I do? Can't you just take me with you? Just take me with you. She started to whimper, her eyes starting to ache.

Inside the car, Chris's eyes never left his friend. Seeing her in that condition, punctured his heart. From where he was sitting, he could perceive Tiffany's frantic trembling. He knew she was bawling her eyes out.

His face reddened and with fists clenched, he jabbed at the steering wheel. His breathing was quick and grave as though his lungs would burst. There's nothing in the world he would want to do more than lock her in his arms to wash off every ounce of despair in her. He wished for nothing more than to run to her, but at the back of his head, he wanted to honor Tiffany's decision to be alone with her parents.

He punched the steering wheel a few more times before leaning on the backrest and shutting his eyes. He muted the increasing brain noise. When his nerves settled, he fixed his eyes back to his friend.

Tiffany clutched her legs around her arms for a good while. From holding her emotions, she now obliged all that she bottled up to spill over. She held her scarf to her face, soaking it with tears and snot. When nothing was left but gasping sobs, she turned to face her parent's tombstones one more time.

She brushed her lips on the marbles, their frozen facade pricked her. "Watch over me," she mouthed between puffs. She caressed the gravestones one last time before getting up on her feet. Her eyes were dry and swollen by now and as she walked lurching towards the car, she felt the dark night spinning around her, before her entire body toppled over the chilly grass and she lost her consciousness.

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