Broken Skulls MC: A Sleepers Touch

Chapter 14

"It's been awful." I frowned. "I understand that a lot of things are going down, but I wish he could just talk to me about it. You know? I know what my fathers club does, I know the danger they're in. But it's hard when I can tell he's pulling away from me because he can't confide in me."

I was pacing the small office as I spoke to Renee. She was sat cross legged on her couch as she listened, her notebook long since disappeared.

"but you know why he can't." She pressed.

I nodded resentfully. "yes, but he wont tell me anything. Cal gets more out of Viper and most of the time they're fucking yelling at each other!" I wasn't wrong. Cal and Viper couldn't seem to talk to each other without it leading to a fight. He would say something to piss Cal off and she wouldn't take a few seconds to think about what he was really saying. But he seemed to tell her about their situation down there more than Sleeper ever did.

"don't you think he doesn't want to stress you out?" She questioned, she shifted in her seat, adjusting the jacket she wore over a baggy button up and a pair of shorts. 

"well... I guess, but I'd rather he talk to me." I tried to explain. 

"you want him to share the load." She dissected. "because he's always let you confide in him, and now that he isn't reciprocating you're worried he's taking on too much."

I nodded, even though I knew the answer was deep in me, sometimes it was harder to express in my own words and having her here to help me separate and organize everything was helping far more than I ever thought possible. 

"this is normally, especially for someone like you." She said. "you're a nurse, a caregiver and you're use to having people rely on you and you are use to carrying your own burdens. Now that someone is trying to lift everything off your shoulders without asking the same in return, you can't accept it."

"but shouldn't a relationship be fifty- fifty? Shouldn't it be about give and take? I want him to know he can count on me."

she smiled. "not all relationships are fifty- fifty all the time. Right now it could be twenty - eighty or sixty - forty. It's a see saw, you help when the other needs you. At some point it'll be your turn to help him, but don't knock him trying to protect you down to him just keeping things from you."

I plopped down on the chair opposite her large couch. "why can't I ever be right?" I challenged her with a glare.

"because then you wouldn't need me." She smiled at me. "how's the driving coming along?"
I shrugged. "awful."

I couldn't lie, her office was right outside the bus station. I would see her through the window watching me as I guiltily climbed into the bus each time I had to go to work. 

"have you told Sleeper?" I shook my head. "he's asking you about it right? Why lie?"

"because I don't want to-" I wanted to swallow my words, and she smirked at me with that stupid know it all smile. "fine! I'll talk to him, but he doesn't need to be worrying about me while he's down there still."

"oh honey, he's going to worry about you no matter what. He'll be upset with himself if he comes homes and sees how shitty you look." Her bluntness never came as a surprise to me anymore, it had been a nice break from the soft way my family handled me now. "you need to sleep, is the medication not working?"

I shook my head. The pills helped me fall asleep but not even them could keep me from the horrible nightmares I had every night. The sleep paralysis was even worse, waking up and not being able to move or scream for help as my mind was forced back to that night.