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Chapter 21 - What Ifs

Chapter 21 - What Ifs

Loyal was feeling pretty good when he left Patience’s room.  One problem solved.  He didn’t know what Friday would bring but he had a feeling that if they were truly together they could work this out.  Or at least they would never wonder ‘what if’.

“Loyal,” the nervous voice froze him midstep, “I think we should talk.”

He turned slowly and looked at Nate figeting at the end of the hallway.

“Alright,” he nodded his head to his bedroom.  He made a quick decision, since he was solving problems, he might as well get this over and done with.

Nate followed him into the bedroom but as the door slammed shut he was spun against the wall and Loyal was pushed against him.  Loyal didn’t hesitate, he closed the distance and kissed Nate with his whole body.  Nate gasped either in surprise or lust, it didn’t matter, Loyal tentatively probed his tongue into his mouth.  Not knowing what to expect, he was surprised that Nate’s moan had him deepening the kiss and then he was losing himself in the fact that their bodies moulded together so well.  Nate’s hands were moving up his chest as he dropped his hips onto Nate’s as he would do to a woman to advertise the extent of his interest.

“No, stop Loyal,” Nate pushed him away.

“No! No, no, no!” Loyal spun away and off him.  He dropped his head into his hands as he swore a long string of expletives.  “That wasn’t supposed to happen!” he growled out as the anger washed over him.

That wasn’t the plan.  The first kiss had taken him by surprise so he figured that he had glamorised it, remembered it better than it really was, so it stood to reason that their second kiss should burst that bubble.  Loyal was so sure that if he kissed Nate, on his own terms, it would be like kissing another guy, it would feel wrong, it would feel gross, and everything would go back to normal.  But no, no it felt so good kissing him.  Too good.

“We have to talk Loyal,” Nate was looking at his hands.

“No, this is wrong!” Loyal shook his head but that didn't shake the feeling that overwelmed him.

“Yes, I know.  I’m sorry,” Nate bit his lip.

“This isn’t supposed to be happening.  What have you done to me?” Loyal looked over his shoulder at Nate who hadn’t moved.

“It’s my fault.  I’m sorry.  I’m living a lie and I can’t do it anymore,” Nate took a deep breath, “I’m sorry Loyal.  I didn’t mean to do this to you.”

“I was fine until you came along!  What did you do to me?”

“Nothing,” Nate shook his head, “OK, so I lied to you.  I’ve been lying to everyone.  No one was supposed to get hurt.”

“Hurt?  What do you mean?  You are going to hurt me?”  Loyal turned to face Nate, something surged through him and his heart faltered.

“I hope not.  Actually I suspect it will be me who gets hurt when everyone finds out the truth.”

“The truth?  What truth?”

“I’m not who you think I am Loyal.  I’ve been hiding who I am.  I’ve been so selfish. I just never thought it would be like this.  I didn’t expect to meet someone like you. I can’t do this anymore.  I have to tell you the truth.  I can’t lie to you.”

“I know,” Loyal growled.  “I know what you are!”

“You know?” Nate looked surprised.  “How?”