A Dog Named Bear

nine

Iris

iris | jay

"You doing anything today?" my mum asks with a yawn. Like me, she was not a morning person, although I wasn't sure I could exactly categorize noon as morning.

"Going out later today," I sign and she nods with a sly smirk.

"You hanging out with that boy again?" she asks, just as my dad walks in with a confused look.

Hugging my mum, he grabs a bag of popcorn. "What boy?"

I start shaking my head and my mum laughs as she scrambles to get the words out before I could do anything. "Oh you know, a cute guy that Iris met a couple-"

I launch myself forward and cover her mouth before quickly pulling it away. Knowing my mum she'd probably lick my hand.

Still giggling, she reaches over and grabs the popcorn from my dad who lets out a small whine, but allows her to eat it.

"Should I be worried?" my dad asks, after mournfully watching his food disappear into his wife's mouth. "Do I have to have a talk with him?" He pauses, his eyes widening in horror. "Do I have to have the talk with you? Because if it comes to that, your mother would gladly-"

"Excuse me? You're having the talk with her, mister," my mum chimes in and I bury my head in my hands. "Iris? Are you okay? You look like you're dying."

"That's exactly what's happening right now! I'm dying, and I wish I could die quicker already," I reply.

My dad snorts. "So, no talk I'm guessing?"

"No!"

He nods, a look of relief crossing his face. "Thank god. I'm going to go, and Tia, you're going to have the talk with her later!"

"No, Caleb, you're a grown man! Stop being a wimp!" she calls out after him.

"You're mean," he whines. "I'm leaving now, and I shall leave as a wimp and stay as one. You're having the talk with her and that guy, Tia!"

I watch as my mum grumbles under her breath, ready to bolt if she even mentioned having "the talk" with me. Instead, she simply grins and reaches into the cooler. "Ice cream?"

. . .

I was well into my bucket of ice cream when I get a text message from Jay.

iris!!!!

help meee

what's wrong?

okay, so you know that one friend that made me exercise?

well, he's going to toss his girlfriend into a lake if i don't get back together with him

I blink.

If it was anyone else, I would've wondered if they were mentally okay, but with Jay, I didn't have to wonder. I already knew he wasn't.

what?

whaddya mean what?

his girlfriend is going to kill me if i don't save her, but imma kill myself if he texts me at one in the morning telling me i don't love him enough and that i should go running with him

so in both scenarios i'll end up dead, but in one, i'll be dead faster

this makes no logical sense, yet at the same time it does

Jay's usual speedy response doesn't come, and I shrug as I set down the phone, yet just as I scoop another spoonful of ice cream, I hear several pings come in.

I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU

LIKE CRAZY IN LOVE WITH YOU

ALSO, I'M KINDA DUMB

AND I REALLY LIKE POTATOES

AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KILL JAMES BECAUSE JAMES IS THE MOST FREAKING AMAZINGEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND I'M ALSO IN LOVE WITH HIM

My mounting confusion dissipates, and I chuckle. Leave it to Jay to find friends who were as crazy as he was.

i agree with two of em

you really are dumb, and potatoes are amazing

potayto potahto

TELL JAY TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME

PLEASE

I'M DESPERATE

NO JAY YOU DON'T GET TO HAVE YOUR PHONE BACK UNTIL YOU AGREE TO MARRY ME

sorry, i sometimes type what i'm screaming

it's quite interesting

by the way i'm james and i'm sure you've heard lovely things about me

i've certainly heard things about you...

i wouldn't say they were lovely

i'm sure they were LOVELY

BECAUSE JAY LOVES ME AND HE WOULDN'T DARE SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ME, RIGHT JAY?

sorry, still typing what i'm screaming

how's life?

it's life...

how do you think it is?

touche

life does always suck doesn't it?

oh shi-

mr. erikson is coming and i am not getting murdered by his baton today

bye whoever you are

make sure to tell jay to marry me

I roll my eyes, smiling. And to think that I thought Jay would be the craziest person I would ever meet.

. . .

i really want food.

thanks for reading! if you enjoyed, please vote, leave a comment and i'll see ya later!

~ Jells ♥