A Dog Named Bear

twenty-three

Iris

iris | jay

I practically inhale Jay's pancakes, not realizing until then that it was the first food that I had eaten all day.

It was a bit surprising how good they were, especially since Jay didn't seem like the type to cook.

"See," he says smugly, noticing how fast I ate. "I told you they would be good."

"Sureee." I take another bite. "Why are you so bad at baking then?"

"The cookies we made were great!" he says defensively. "I mean more of the cookies I made. You just kinda stood there and did nothing."

"Excuse me? I did more work than you," I remind.

"You did not." Even he knew that was a lie. His voice couldn't seem to be quite as argumentative as usual.

I laugh. "Thanks though."

He raises an eyebrow. "For what?"

"I think you're just fishing for compliments," I say, narrowing my eyes at him.

Jay only grins. "Shhh. Tell me."

"For coming over and cooking." I pause before continuing to type. "Thanks for everything you've done. Even though you still have an abnormally annoying obsession over Disney movies."

"That's because Disney movies are great!" The response was automatic, as though he had heard complaints about his fangirling before. "Well, thanks as well. For being my friend."

"Of course."

"And for stopping Bear that day. Imagine me not having a walk with him at the hour. We would have never met."

"You wouldn't have been here witnessing a complete meltdown."

He laughs. "Yeah. I would have been third wheeling with James." We both sit in silence for a while. "It's kind of scary," he finally says. "The fact that even the smallest choice can make such a monumental change."

I nod.

"Have you ever thought about visiting your sister?" he asks.

"Of course." I say nothing about his change in topic.

"You should do it," he says abruptly. Catching my confused look, he coughs and glances away. "Maybe, it'll help. It might not hurt as much."

"I think that's the exact thing that I'm scared of," I write, carefully picking my words. This time, it was his turn to look to confused. "I don't want it to stop hurting. I don't want to say goodbye. Because I keep feeling like if I put it off, then she'll stay with me longer."

"But that's not fair to you," he protests.

"Who said anything about fair?" I let out a long breath. "Was it fair for her to die for something that I chose? Was it fair for me to live? Nothing about this world is fair, Jay. It's not fair that I have to live in a world without her and it's not fair that she will never experience the world that she loved. It's not fair that I get to sit here, with you, and be happy when she's dead. Yet, here we are!"

He blinks. Once. Twice. His lips are parted in surprise.

"I'm sorry," I say, feeling guilty. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Jay only shakes his head before he suddenly starts smiling. "I don't mind you snapping. I quite like it actually. Thank you. For letting me see something that I probably wouldn't have in a million years."

The gentleness in his voice almost brings me to tears again.

"Is it true that you're happy with me?" he asks next.

I stare at him before laughing. "Oh my god, you're such an idiot."

He simply scoots closed to me with an expectant look.

"Yes. Why else do you think I hang out with you?"

Jay shrugs. "I mean there's always Bear."

"Of course. There's also Bear." I smile at him. "In fact, it's mostly Bear."

"Of course it is," he mutters. "Stealing hearts left and right since the moment he was born."

I laugh at his tone. "The jealousy is strong."

"Obviously. Who wouldn't be?" He leans back in his chair. "My mum and dad want to meet you."

I freeze. "Why?"

"Clary might have told on me a while ago," he says.

"But-"

"Just think about it, okay?" he asks, covering my hands with his. "I think that Kaia would love to meet you too, and I was hoping to find a time to introduce you two."

"You just made it worse."

"Did I?" Jay's tone turns worried. "Just think about it. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

I sigh. "I'm not good with people."

"Are you kidding me? You're amazing with people. Just because you can't talk, so what? It doesn't mean you don't have so much to say," he says fiercely. "It'd mean a lot if you came, but that's just your choice."

I stare at him, knowing there was no way I could ever deny him when he had stupidly earnest face. "What time?"

. . .

umm i wrote this really fast so sorry if it kinda really sucks.

thanks for reading! if you enjoyed, please vote, leave a comment and i'll see ya later!

- Jells ❤️