Straight To You

thirty-one

The following day, Jack and I sit outside in my backyard as we study for an English test we both have tomorrow afternoon. It's a beautiful day: warm, sunny, and bright. The sky is a brilliant shade of blue, no cloud in sight. As the sun beams down on me and Jack, it fills the air with radiance and keeps the temperature up. As far as I'm concerned, it's a picture-perfect day.

And yet my mood couldn't be more opposite of the scenery. Despite the beautiful weather, my mood is all thunderstorms and lightning. I haven't been able to get Lacey's words out of my head since my run-in with her the previous night, and every time I think about her snooty tone and superior attitude, I swear my mood worsens.

When did my life become so filled with drama? When did I start to make friends and go out with boys and rival mean girls? My life has never been anything like it has lately, and I suddenly find the immense change too much to handle. I can't help thinking that things were so much easier before I moved to this town and got to know its people. Things were simpler before Dad and I left Texas, even if we were moving every other month. After all, it's hard for trouble to follow if you don't stop moving long enough to let it catch up to you.

But then I find myself thinking about Lana, and of the memories I share with my friend. Staying up until the early hours of the morning, laughing and goofing off when we should be sleeping. I remember how nice Lana had been to me when I was still new to this town, how she'd taken me under her wing and stayed by my side ever since. I think of sharing outfits and trading secrets; how Lana has become my very own sister.

And then my mind wanders to Jack. I think of how it makes me feel whenever I look up and find him smiling at me, light green eyes on mine, dimples on display all for me. Or how it feels to have his hand in mine as we walk down the hallways at school, or the sidewalks around town. And the way he always watches me intently as I speak, as if ever word I say in his presence is important to him. Of course, I can't forget everything Jack has done for me since I moved to town, either. I'll never forget how he took me in when I had no place else to go the night I got wasted at a party, or how he had done nothing more than listen when I spilled the story about my mother and my past to him. No matter how many times or how hard I tried to push Jack away, he always bounced right back. I never thought I'd say that I'm grateful for that.

Even my relationship with my dad has improved since we moved (and I should add stayed) to Aster Pines. I can go to him with anything, and the bond we've always had has been able to thrive and grow stronger. Lucas doesn't escape my thoughts, either, and I find myself grateful for the role he's played in my life as well. So is it really fair of me to wish things were back to the way they were before, when Dad and I were moving every few months? Just because it was simpler not to settle down doesn't exactly make it better. Every tree needs to be planted, needs the space to spread and grow its roots. And as hard as it's been for me to get used to the change, I can't say that I regret it. My life had been different before moving to this town and getting to know its people, yes, but I wouldn't say that it was better.