Straight To You

forty-three

Instead of going home after fourth period as I normally would, I remain in the building for moments after the bell rings, watching as the school quickly filters out before my eyes. I know for certain that the football team has practice today, which serves as the perfect opportunity for me to speak to Jack alone. I know that I need to talk to him today, before any more time can be wasted between the both of us.

I make my way across the school, lingering in the hallway the boy's locker room is located. I'm hoping to catch Jack before he heads to the field, that way we can talk in private. I suppose I could always wait for him out on the field myself, but then everyone around would no doubt be curious as to what we're talking about. I don't know what's going to happen when I finally get the chance to speak to Jack, and I'd rather not have the entire football team and my father as the coach witness would could be my impending embarrassment.

Emerging from the locker room, Kyler passes by me on his way toward the school doors, shooting me a knowing wink as he goes. When Chris brushes past me, he appears to be slightly perplexed, though he offers me a hopeful smile, and I confirm his suspicions with a small nod. The locker room slowly empties, and it's more than convenient for me that Jack seems to be the last to head out.

Jack doesn't exit the locker room until well after the rest of the guys have began to make their way to the football field, staying behind for reasons that are unknown to me. When I notice him enter the hallway, I can feel myself falling prey to nerves, butterflies of anxiety and excitement merging together and fluttering around in my stomach.

Studying Jack, I notice that his golden-brown hair stands up in odd places, as if he's been running his hands through the light strands recently. If I'm being honest, I'd have to say that Jack looks a little worse for wear, with his shoulders hunched in a slouched posture, his face paler than usual. For a fleeting moment, I wonder if it's our break-up that has him looking so down, but the thought doesn't bring me any comfort. It hurts to think that Jack has been struggling with not being a part of my life these past few weeks, just as I have been about not being a part of his.

When Jack spots me, he freezes in place. I can easily tell that I am the last person he expected to run into at the moment, which is understandable. If I were him, I suppose I wouldn't want to see me much, either. I believed Lucas and Lacey over him, and never gave him the chance to explain himself, pushing him away every time he tried to make things right. In my own defense, however, it wasn't like Jack tried his hardest to tell me the truth, having only tried to come to me directly after the assembly, when I was obviously too upset to be rational. On the other hand, I did tell Jack to stay away from me. In keeping his distance since then, he'd only been respecting my wishes, and that realization only makes me miss him all the more.

"Hi," I finally force myself to say after realizing that the two of us have been standing opposite each other in silence for some time now.

"Hi." Jack's voice cracks as he says the word, as if he's struggling to speak at all. His green eyes gleam with a shattered light, and I notice the way he averts his gaze from mine. I can't blame him for being uncomfortable, as this whole time Jack has known that he was innocent against Lacey's claims against him, and I didn't want to hear it. But I need Jack to know that I didn't know the truth at the time, that I would never hurt him the way I have without reason.