Chapter 10: By your side

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I slowly opened my eyes, blinking several times to sharpen the blurriness. A white ceiling greeted me. I glanced around to take in the pristine, white, and grey room. The smell of disinfect invaded my nostrils. A monitor beeping, measuring the rhythm and rate of my heart. An IV drip connected to my hand stood besides my bedpost.

A person sat besides my bed. She has her head on my bed while she clenched on my hand. Chestnut-orange strands sprawled on her head. I brushed the stray hairs away from her face.

Mama, I thought. Seeing the black bags under her eyes and tears strained on her cheeks, she have cried and lacked sleep when I was unconscious. 

I tried to sat up, but my leg felt struck and wrapped in a tight cloth. Curious, I pulled the covers off my legs. White bandages encased around my right thigh and knee. 

I resumed my lying position and just stared at blank space. Pictures came into my head like in the theater. 

Gunshots rang-

Aunt Akira's screams-

Shot in the thigh-

Enma being thrown one side-

Mami's tears-stricken eyes- 

Daemon's sickening smile and laugh-

My fingers curled up and crumbled the clean, white sheets over my body. Having seen blood spilled clenched my stomach..

I knew about this and yet I did nothing to stop it. Was it because it was part of the story? It was but seeing a child died was not a pleasant sight. This is not a story but the reality I am facing.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. An image of Mami's body caked in blood flashed. I gasped a sharp intake of air and jolted up. Every time I tried to block it, the blood and her corpse laid on the ground appeared stronger.  

Somewhere deep inside me twinged a piece of guilt. Guilt of not stopping Daemon from murdering them. Even if this small body tried to stop him, he was still stronger than me. Living more than a hundreds of years in the mafia granted more experiences than my seven years of playing around. 

The door slide open. I snapped my eyes to it, to see Father stood with a grim face. The expression brightened when he saw me wide awake. 

"Chi-chan," he spoke softly, as Mother was sleeping. 

He walked over to me. His hand caressed Mother's tresses as he sat on my bed. He reached up and ruffled my hair.

"How...are you feeling?" Father asked, a vague strain in his voice. He knew what had happened. I did not respond. I averted my eyes to my lap, finding it interesting. Father noticed this and bend his back to look at me. His blue eyes blazed like sapphires.

"Chi-chan...?"

All of those killings caused by a greedy man, I hate it, I wanted to wash away those images. Mami lived five years, more than half of my former age. Her future cut short by a gunshot. Five years' time I watched over her since she was an infant. 

I loved her and acted as an older sister to her. On weekends, I would meet at the Kozato's house. We played, laughed, argued. I felt like Lil' Nugget was with me. I made up stories from my past life and she would listen with deep interest. Whenever I come over, she would beg me to tell her more. Everything was same but she was not here.

It was as if someone took away a piece of my heart.

I shuffled towards Father and wrapped my arms; my small form fit against his board torso like a puzzle. His strong arms enveloped me in a protective cage. His warmth bought comfort in my heart. I listened to his heartbeat, lulling me. A tear rolled down my cheek.

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