Falling In Love With You | Jennie Kim

we like girls, but 🖤

The silence in the room was cut by Jennie's excited shriek of disbelieve, "You do?!"

Y/N nodded, "I certainly do. That's why I felt worried about certain things you said or did, I didn't want us to get hurt."

Jennie looked at her confused, but relieved at the same time. "Why would we get hurt? I don't like hurting people and I am sure you don't either."

Y/N shifted her weight on the bed and huffed, "Jennie, I don't mean that we're going to hurt each other. I mean it in a way that outside factors will. We have our families, friends, your fans, the company, all those things can get impacted if we ever come out into the world as something. That's why, and I say this with a lot of pain in my heart, we wouldn't work out as a couple."

Jennie seemed saddened and bothered by the revelation.

"What do you mean, we wouldn't work out? We can make it work, Y/N. I'm deeply in love with you," Jennie said, hope laced in each word she let out to the other woman.

The younger one made to stand up, "It's hard you know, dating secretly when you've got stalkers, media, and haters Jennie. It's not going to happen, it never will. If it does, it's going to hurt you so much, you'll wish you weren't alive."

Jennie crossed her arms, her hunger long forgotten at the coversation at hand, "It can, if you liked me enough you would be willing to give us a chance."

Y/N heart stammered, "Give us a chance? This is going to be more like risking your career, running away from the real world, our love would have to bloom in the dark Jennie. We won't be comfortable all the time, trust me I've been through it once, I don't want you to go through it, and I definately don't want to go through it twice!" Y/N sincerely said looking torn at the words she spoke.

Why did it get so tense in the room now?

Jennie looked down at the bed covers and sighed, "I was really hoping my flirty demeanor made it obvious since the beggining, are you grossed out by me? Is that why you think we wouldn't work out?"

Y/N internally screamed, "N-No Jennie, you're not the problem, it's a fear."

The older woman shook her head and touched her hand, "I can make that fear disappear Y/N, trust me I can."

"N-no you can't, this is not going to be something good for us, understand please. I work for your company, if rumors spread I'm the one that's going to get fired, and you're going to be in a literal pit of fire with YG and upset fans surrounding you." Y/N explained putting some space between them.

"I need some air," Jennie suddenly said walking towards the door.

Y/N cursed and looked up, "Are you mad at me?"

The other shook her head with a small broken smile, visible tears lining her eyes, "I can't be mad at you Y/N, this is a serious concern and I need to think. Have a goodnight."

"Likewise," Y/N nodded giving her a small nod.

Once the door closed, the foreigner couldn't help but break down.

Seeing Jennie's hope vanish with everything she was spilling was heartbreaking. Y/N wanted this to be over with, to know that Jennie liked her and was not fooling around.

It was true, Jennie wasn't fooling around, and she couldn't do anything about it.

A relationship would be too risky, too dangerous for both of their reputations. Maybe they weren't meant to be together, and all they felt was mutual liking.

Y/N shook her head, cleaning her tears as she made her way to the restroom.

She had been through this before, but the barrier at that time was her partner's parents and the society they lived in. She loved that girl with every ounce of her being, with everything she was, only for all to go down the drain.

In the end, Y/N's parents warned her about dating the same sex and even threatened to kick her out of the house, which brought her immense fear.

That year had been a horrible one to walk with alone, her school fling ended up dating another guy and she was left with a broken heart.

She remembered when she would desperately ask people how her ex girlfriend was doing, and their answers would manage to break her heart even more.

The other girl got married, was pregnant, and was happily leaving the country to live in a more "beautiful place" away from her.

According to her social media posts, her old school fling was happy with her husband and upcoming child.

It's not that Y/N still cared for her ex, she just didn't want to go through another heartbreak like that, never in a thousand years.

So at the moment, even though she loved Jennie Kim with all her heart, she would have to step back.

Just this once.