Next Step - Logan henderson fanfic

Part 41:

Part 41:
Then kendall started to speak:
"It all started last week, after Logan broke up with you and hurt you like that he drove to my place and told me everything, after he told me he cried, he said he regrets ,he was crying like a baby he said he was stupid and selfish and I tried to calm him down , eventually he ends up sleeping on my couch, he was miserable so I didn't know what to do, he woke up in the morning and we talked again.
'I miss her, I love her, I don't even know what I did , I hurt her and she will never forgive me!' He told me.
'We need to find a way to figure this out, don't worry' I said though I knew that he was right and u won't forgive him, we talked about it and we decided to write you a song, I think he should sing it to you. " kendall stopped and I asked him to keep talking.
"Every day I was calling him and convince him to go out but he locked himself in the house and didn't left it, just for work and not always. In the studio he and James were barely talking. He was a mess, until yesterday , I knocked on his door and forced him to do something. We decided he will go to your house with a little gift and apologize , and we said that he will call me after he meets you , to tell me how it was.
He went to your house, and I've been waiting to his call, but he didn't call, it was midnight and he was supposed to call, but I calmed myself down and thought that maybe you forgave him and now you two are making out on the couch. That's was true, half true, you were making out just not with him. After a while I decided to call him and he answered:
'Hello?' I said.
'I'm stupid! I'm STUPID for letting her go!!!' He cried.
'What happened?!' I asked concerned.
'I saw her on the couch kissing, making out with... With ... Freaking JAMES!'
he yelled.
'What??? where are you?!' I was surprised.
'on the road,'
'Where are you going to?!'
'I don't know I'm just driving nowhere !'
'Logan , come over and talk to me'
'Kendall , I'm done in this world, I'm useless, no one needs me, after I saw this, I understand the feeling, how I hurt her, now she hurts me, I don't deserve to stay alive, I should be dead!'
'Stop saying it! We all need you, we will figure this out please don't hurt yourself!'
'As I told you I'm done here, thanks for everything, bye kendall' and with that he hanged up the phone.
I knew his mind, I knew his plans and I was afraid . I called him but he didn't answer. "
"He tried to kill myself? Just because of me?!?" I cut him off shocking! But Kendall ignored me and kept the story:
"After 10 minuets my phone rang, it was an unknown number I picked it up:
'Hello?!' I asked.
'Kendall !?'
'Yeah'
'Someone that talked to you on the phone a few minutes ago went through a hard accident,his car crashed into a big tree and rolled down the street. you know him? '
'Omg ! Logan ?!' Who else I've been talking with a few minutes ago, That wanted to be dead!?!?!?
'I don't know his name, just can you please come to the hospital we are on our way there in the ambulance and you are the first person I saw on his phone'
'Sure, I'll be right there'
I rushed to the hospital and I saw him on a hospital bed, covered with blood and he looked like a thing I prefer not to describe. They took him to the surgery room and after an hour the nurse came out:
'You Kendall right?'
'Yeah'
'His brother?'
'Almost. Best friends!'
'Ok, so he is not feeling so well, the surgery will start in a minute and I just found this on his pocket, I think it's important '
She said and handed me an envelop .
'Thank you' I said and she left.
I looked at the envelop and it was written on it:'Dear Y/N'
So I think it's for you."
He handed me a dirty envelop, covered with blood and I took it.
"I can't believe he did it! He tried to kill himself! And it's all my fault! He left me this envelop cuz he knew he will die!!!!! WHAT?!" I was shocked.
"Y/N , I'm sorry I am really sorry" he said.
I nodded and he got up:
"I think I'll leave you alone now, I'm going to get some sleep, and please take care of yourself, call me if you need me!"
"Ok thanks Kendall !" I hugged him and he left.
I looked around and opened the envelope , there was a paper I unfolded it and read :
"To my pressure boom,
I wanna say I'm sorry. For everything, Im sorry for hurting you like that . But I know you won't accept this so I have nothing left to do. I know u and James will be a happy couple , you deserve him and he deserves you, I wish you a happy life and if you are happy with him, I'm happy for you, but I just didn't want to be here to see it , its too much for me to handle, so I'm leaving, I'm a bad and stupid person and I need a punish, just for u to know , I love you, and I always will. I prefer to die and not to live my life without you, so because it's a fact that I'll live my life without you, I'm gonna die . It's ok you don't need me, you will forget about me soon.
I love you with all of my heart ,
Your pill:)" I read it with tears in my eyes.
I can't believe he did it. I can't believe he actually thought about it. Why?! I know he hurt me but I still care about him, and honestly I still like him, a piece of me still wants him.
"Hi!" I heard james from behind.
I quickly folded the paper and hid it.
"Hi" I said back wiping away my tears.
"Is everything ok?!" He asked concerned and sat down next to me.
"Yeah .. It's just..." I mumbled .
"Come here" he whispered and pulled me into a hug.
"Don't cry he will be fine" he said.
"I'm Sorry for yelling at you.." I said.
"its ok,what is it?" He asked confused and looked at the folded paper.
He saw my hesitation and said:"you don't have to show me but you can tell me anything , trust me" and smiled.
"James, he tried to kill himself because of me, it wasn't a random accident, it was planned, he wanted to die, he commit suicide
cause his heart broke when he saw... Us" I said.
"I don't know , we can't know it unless he tells us, I can't believe Logan would do it"
"I know it, for sure, cuz he told me"
"What do you mean he told you?"
I handed him the paper and he read it.
"Oh no...Y/N I'm sorry.. I didn't have to do it, I'm sorry for causing this mess, the kiss just caused Logan to hurt himself and you to be hurt because of this, and our friendship to be ruined" he looked down with sad face.
"You forgot it made me butterflies in my stomach and it gave me a moment I will never forget..." I said.
"So you don't regret?!" He asked.
"No, James I like you, I just regret it came out this way, I didn't want to hurt logan"
"I know, I didn't want either , but please tell me I didn't ruin anything?!"
"You just made it better" I smiled.
He grinned and hugged me tight . And whispered "I love you" I couldn't believe he said it but I couldn't say it back, I wanted to say it, the words were about to escape my mouth , but they stayed inside without a permission to leave my mouth.
"It's ok you don't have to feel it now, I just feel it so I said it" he smiled like he read my mind.
"Ok thanks" I blushed.
"Now lets get out of here" he said and got up. "He will be fine right?!" I asked him. "I promise" he smiled. we went back near the room when Logan was. We have been waiting there for a few minutes and then a doctor showed up in front of us.
"You are waiting for the guy with the car accident?" He asked.
"Yeah" we both said and got up.
"You better sit down " he said seriously like he had nothing cheering to say.
We sat down.
"We tried our best..." the doctor start talking and I started to breath heavily, "he went through a very difficult surgery but unfortunately..." My heart skipped a beat. "The surgery failed and he had a hard breathing problems till he...I'm sorry but he died"