Ecdysiast || PJM 🔞

Chapter 43: Advice from the Past

Park Jimin's POV

Everyday felt like hell. I'm always stressed, confused, angry, sad ㅡ I don't really know what I feel anymore. Ever since that day when she left me after rejecting my proposal, I've always been feeling confused. Does she want us together or she wants us over? I don't understand.

She said she can't marry me yet and she needs to love herself first, but does that mean we are cooling off? Does she need space from me or not? Does she still want us or not anymore? Are we still together? I just don't get it. Again, I'm so confused, and this confusion is doing me no good because I'm unintentionally releasing it on my work. I don't yell nor even scold my employees to the point that I've hurt their feelings but since that night, I've started treating them unusual. It's affecting me so much.

Despite of my busy schedule, I'm still occupied by her.

But fortunately, I found a nice time for myself tonight that I decide to grab a drink to J-Dope and in case I get drunk and shit, Hoseok can take care of me.

I love her so much. I did everything for her but at the end, she chose to reject me. It hurts even if she said that she loves me. I just don't know if I'm not enough for her. What is still missing?

It didn't take such a long time for me to get to J-Dope and ask for a glass of whiskey. I need to relax my mind. No one knows what's happening between me and Jiwon but I don't mind actually telling them to Hoseok if he happens to be here. I trust him, and surely, he'll be able to cheer me up. After all, he's our hope and our angel.

Five glasses of whiskey, and after that, I lost count. I'm not drunk, or maybe I am. But I am still quite aware of what was happening around me.

"Jiwon," I whispered her name, longing for her. I don't know what to do.

"Yes?" A girl beside me asked. My droopy eyes looked at her and I almost as if fell on my chair. She's sitting beside. I'm not hallucinating right? Because if I am, why would she respond with my call to her name?

"Jiwon?" I asked again, confused. What is she doing here, drinking. I blinked my eyes for a few more times because my vision might just be blurry that's why I could see her but nothing changed.

I stood up from my sit and kissed her on the lips. Fuck, I miss her so much!

We got inside the ladies' room, making out in the sink.

Kissing and touching each other, I could hear and imagine her sweet lips and moans, her soft and fair skin. I can totally feel her with me. I'm burning and the alcohol in my system lights up the desire even more.

Our make out session was disturbed by someone coming inside the restroom and there I saw Jiwon again. My head started aching as I looked back and forth on the girl that I was making out and to the girl on the door which was actually the real Jiwon.

"You didn't lock the door?" The girl asked me

Shit! I messed up, didn't I?

"J-Jimin?" Jiwon spoke my name with her trembling lips.

"Get out," I pulled the girl down the sink and pushed her away. I need to explain what happened. She's not okay, and I fucking messed up and now, I might cause her to overthink depressive thoughts which can lead to harming herself again.

"Butㅡ" the stranger protested.

"Get the hell out. NOW!" I shouted, startling both Jiwon and the girl. I saw how Jiwon got terrified from my voice which I understand because I've never raised my voice at her in this way. She only hears me shout when we are teasing each other.