Double Redamancy

Chapter 18: Stjerneklart

Stjerneklart: (adj.) a dark, quiet and clear sky in which the night is filled and illuminated only by stars.

—————————

When my eyes open again, I'm sat in a chair in my kitchen. My head is pounding. I can hear voices arguing and yelling. Pierce is in a chair to my right, he glares at me as we make eye contact.

I grab Booker's arm, he turns to me looking shocked.

"I'm going to throw up." I state simply.

Acer springs into action, handing him the garbage can from besides the island. Booker places it in front of me quickly. I hunch over it, spilling the contents of my stomach into the plastic. Booker rubs my back while Acer runs a hand through my hair. When I finally sit up, I am met with the angry eyes of my parents and Pierce's parents. An angry Alpha, Luna and Beta all in one room isn't a good thing.

"I want to feel bad for you, but you did this to yourself." my mother accuses. "Apologize to Pierce at once!"

"I think I got the worst of it." I laugh humorlessly, pushing up from my chair and turning to go up stairs.

"Get down here." my father says firmly.

I turn as I reach the middle of the stairs. Everyone looks at me differently. My parents, Thea, Dean and Hunter look angry. Pierce is pouting. The rest of them look... scared. Scared of me.

My stomach twists in discomfort as not even my own mates make a move to follow me. I'm embarrassed, angry, betrayed. However, over-ruling all of these is a sense of self-hatred. Sure, in some ways the situation is a bit funny. Pierce isn't seriously hurt and in the end he was being a dick. But at the same time it also shows just how dangerous my abilities truly are. That not even I can control them.

I stay locked in my room for the rest of the night. I watch out the window as Acer and Booker retreat to one of the guest cabins after sitting outside my door for hours. I couldn't risk hurting anyone, especially not them. So I kept the door locked. I kept them safe from me, though it was so unsettling to not be with them. I ignored my wolfish nature to be with my mates.

I decide not to sleep tonight. Instead, I force myself to catch up on my homework as a form of punishment. I don't feel bad for hurting Pierce. No, not really. However, I'm terrified of hurting someone else. I should have controlled myself and I didn't.

When morning rolls around, I can feel the bags weighing heavy beneath my eyes. Someone knocks gently on my door, but I can't bring myself to answer. I lay on my cold, wood floor and stare up at my ceiling fan. A few more people knock on my door, some talk, others I only recognize by the way they walk. My mother, Heidi, Rhys, Booker and Acer. I don't move and eventually I fall asleep.

I awake to the sound of my lock being turned, it's dark outside again. Someone must have found the key to my room. I continue to stare up at the ceiling as Booker and Acer sit on either side of me. Their scents of cinnamon and lavender mingle in the air strangely, but instead of bringing me comfort it makes me more uneasy.

"You guys shouldn't be around me until I'm trained." I state emotionlessly as I stare at my ceiling fan.

"We're not afraid of you, Jace." Acer says, leaning over me and running a thumb along my cheek.

I sit up, feeling a bit dizzy and extremely exhausted. I wrap an arm around both Booker and Acer and they wrap an arm around me. The fatigue and fear take over me and I begin to sob in their arms. I clutch onto them desperately as my emotions rush through me. I'm scared. I'm frustrated. But overall, I'm angry.