To Love an Incubus

Chapter 22; Intoxicating

It happens fast. One minute Dorrian is kissing me and the next I'm pushing him against the wall. I can feel the mental shackles loosening their grip as my instincts try to take over. I kiss him harder and something just under my skin reaches out to him. A warmth fills my body and it makes me feel powerful and strong. I wanted the feeling to last forever.

Dorrian's hands wrap around me and pulls me closer into him, the sudden motion snaps me out of my trance. I try to force my body away from him but an invisible force holds me there. I fight with my mind and body. I couldn't stop.

Dorrian leans into the wall, losing strength. I can feel his energy weakening, the amount of energy flowing in my body had lowered. His breathing begins to get heavier and the fear in my mind flashes warning signals. I try to pull my hands away but instead they grab his shoulders, keeping him in place.

"Dorrian, I cant-" I try to force the word out of my mouth, breaking the kiss. My hands remain on him, a low buzz of energy still transferring through the area. If I don't find a way to get him away from him, something bad might happen.

Dorrian ignores me and leans back in, catching my lips between his once again. I get lost for a moment, the warmth flooding through my veins and the power surrounding me.

"No-I-Victoria!" I yell. The door unlatched and opens behind me. A force that must have been Victoria's doing pushes me back into the unfinished circle and Victoria rushes over to fix it, trapping me inside.

I bend over to catch my breath, the demon is angry he was interrupted. Intense rage and power floods through my body. The feelings are so overwhelmingly strong that the human side of me crumbles, I feel tears prickle my eyes. I look up at the ceiling in an attempt to make them go away. I no longer wanted the feeling to last, I wanted it gone.

In my peripherals I can see Dorrian on his knees, catching his own breath. Victoria bends down next to him and I can see her whispering something in his ear. They converse quietly so I can't hear what's being said.

"Auric?" Dorrian asks, getting to his feet and walking towards the circle. I observe his movements carefully, making sure he doesn't get too close.

"He stopped, but you didn't. Makes me think you're the one I should be keeping an eye on," Victoria says, somewhat scolding Dorrian. He shrugs in response. I wanted to correct her, tell her I couldn't stop and that's why she was in here.

I pace inside the circle and chew on my nail, an abundance of energy making me jittery and restless. "I don't like this," I voice. "I don't feel right."

"It's your first feed, that's normal," Victoria replies. She seemed calm and relaxed. In a way Dorrian did too, but that was probably from the energy loss.

They both watch me pace and shake as if I had drank twelve energy drinks. Which is what it felt like, along with a shot of power, rage, and self-loathing. It was a bad mix and left a sour taste in my mouth.

It felt like I was a caged rabid animal. A part of me knew it was for the best but the other part didn't like it. It wanted out and it held a vengeance for those who tied me down. A grumble passed through my lips.

"I think he's trying to separate himself from the demon side of him. There are two side of himself fighting in a way," Victoria observes. Dorrian bites his lip.

"That's not good, is it?" Dorrian asks.

"Well, it certainly isn't helping," she articulated, making Dorrian frown. He takes a step forward, almost stepping on the boundary line.

"Why don't you sit down," Dorrian advises. When I don't make any move to listen to him he huffs and walks inside the circle. My first thought is to push him out, but I remembered what happened last time and the way his hand coated in blood.

"Dorrian, back off," I snarled, holding my hands out in front of me. He shakes his head.

"You're making this more difficult than it has to be, Auric." He advances towards me and grabs my shoulders I expect the warm buzz of energy transfer, but instead I am met with the same static that had always been there. His eyes bore into mine, stern and intense.

"You don't need it, so your body won't take it unless you tell it to," Dorrian informs. "You need to stop. You and the demon are the same person. You control it, not the other way around," he pulls me back into him and I burry my face in his neck, my arms wrapping around his waist. Tears prickle my eyes once again making me rapidly blink to rid them.

Victoria opened the door and I pulled back to see what was happening. Victoria gestured at the door, silently telling us to leave. Dorrian bends down and starts to wipe away a piece of red liquid.

"Are you sure that's a good idea," I ask, not yet trusting myself.

"Ric, you were the one who yelled for Victoria. I think that counts for something," Dorrian says. He grabs my hand and pulls me to the door. Then he continues to pull me through the house and up the stairs. We enter one of the first bedrooms in the upstairs hallway.

The room had a large bed with a black comforter and a white frame in the middle of the back wall. There's a white nightstand on either side of the bed. The walls were a light grey and there was a dark colored area rug in the middle of the floor. I didn't know how I felt about being in Dorrian's room. It made nerves bundle and twist harshly in my stomach.

"Why don't you spend the night so we can monitor you. It's your first time feeding and we don't know how you'll react yet." While I see the logic in Dorrian words, I wanted to be at my apartment in my own space. I wanted to watch over Corrin and be there if anything happens.

"Why didn't you call for Victoria? You could have pulled back sooner," I ask the question that has been burning in the back of my mind. Dorrian shuffles under my stare.

"You're intoxicating. I didn't want to pull away," he says, blood rushes to my face. He faces me and flashes a grin that had a teasing quality but still bit of seriousness.

"You know I'm kind of in a relationship and I don't think I can be what you want me to be," I start, thinking about how Jackie invited me to a family dinner and the nights we stayed up together.

"End it. Tell Jackie that it's over and you're already what I want," he puts his hand on my waist and leans in and my body warms at the contact. His eyes flicker to my lips and I step away. He looks at me clearly offended.

"I've never even thought about being with a guy and I don't want to hurt you. Clearly neither of us have any control," I state. He shrugs.

"I'm not a human and you're my mate. It would take a lot for you to actually hurt me. I think you should try to control it before you start mingling with your friends again," and once again I find logic in Dorrian's words. I should take the opportunity to safely learn how to control myself before being around other people.

"How?"