To Love an Incubus

Chapter 23; You Had Burs

"This isn't working," Dorrian huffs. We have been trying to get me to accept my demon and stop pushing it away for the past hour. He said that accepting it would be the first step to controlling it and apparently I wasn't there yet. I just couldn't shake the feeling that it would try to take over and then I wouldn't be me anymore.

"I don't know, maybe it won't. Is there anyway to like re-suppress it? It worked all those years," I say, Dorrian glares at me.

"It doesn't work like that, Auric. Victoria did it when you were still a baby. Trying it now would be detrimental to everyone," he says, clearly mad I had even brought it up.

"Sorry, just trying to help," I snapped quietly. Dorrian moves closer and sits in front of me on the bed.

"You're not trying to help, that's the thing. You're just trying get rid of the problem instead of dealing with it." Dorrian grabs my face in order to make me look at him. His green eyes stare into mine. "You're a demon. You can't change that. You're an incubus mated to a werewolf. Now, please Auric, try."

I press my forehead to Dorrian's, not understanding the need to do the action in the first place. His eyes flutter close and I lean my face in closer before whispering, "show me." Dorrian's eyes reopen.

"What?" He asks, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

"Your wolf. I saw Jay's and now I want to see yours. It will seem more real if I see you turn into a giant dog. Might motivate me," I tell him. Dorrian pulls back.

"Are you sure?" He asks. I could have backed out, a piece of me did, but what I said was true. Everything seemed surreal, like I was imagining everything and I was slowly losing my mind. Seeing Dorrian turning into a wolf would not be something easily imagined. I needed to see the realism of my situation.

"Yes," I say simply. I swing my legs over the bed so that they touched the floor, taking a less relaxed position than I had previously been in.

Dorrian jumps off the bed and takes off his shirt. I try not to get embarrassed as he removes his pants but I could already feel the heat of a blush. Thankfully, he leaves his boxers on.

"Ready?" I simply nod in response, trying to keep a calm face, but my hands shake. Hopefully his wolf was more willing to be controlled than my demon.

I can see bones shifting under his skin, it looked painful but his face remained neutral. Dorrian hunches over on the floor when his feet begin to reshape themselves and claws form from his fingertips. Hair begins to sprout from his skin and every part of his body reshapes and takes on the form of a wolf.

He was large but no larger than a slightly bigger than average wolf. His fur was a beautiful honey brown mashing in with white sections. His eyes glowed softly but remained their jade green. His tongue stuck out of his muzzle, panting slightly.

He takes a step towards the bed and I have to will myself to stay in the same spot. The wolf sits in front of me and his tail wagged slightly, the fur hanging off of it following the movements.

"Dorrian?" I ask, not sure if he could even understand me. He whines softly and lifts his head up to nudge my hand. His nose is warm and slightly wet. I drag my hand upwards on his face in between his eyes and down his head, he leans into the touch and his eyes close.

I continue raking my hand through his fur. It was coarse but also soft in a way. I slowly slide down the side of the bed to sit on the floor in front of him, making sure to keep my motions slow and relaxed. I didn't want to know what would happen if I spooked the animal, I tried not to think about it.

I sit crisscross on the floor in front of Dorrian and he sniffs my face, the action tickling slightly. I cringe when I feel his warm tongue glide across my cheek. I bring my hand up and softly push his muzzle away from my face. He listens but let's out a small yip that resembled that of a small dog.

It was weird, seeing this part of Dorrian; seeing that this was a part at all. He laid his head in my lap and stretched his paws in front of him, laying half on the floor half on me. His weight was heavy but not uncomfortably so. I rest my hand just below his neck and burry my fingers in his coat. His eyes look up at me and seem to study my expression. I kept my face relaxed but I'm sure he could feel how my fingers still shook against his fur and how I had to force myself not to fidget and move.

"I think I like you better like this. You're less annoying," I try to joke. I could almost see the amusement in his eyes.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to juggle all of this; the new part of me, a fifteen year old boy, finding work, my mom, and now the pack and this world. It all feels like so much," I tell him, taking advantage of his silence. He watches me and I pick a bur out of the fur near his ear.

"I mean I don't even know what this is; me and you I mean. I know what I am to you, but I don't know how to feel about it. Finding out your destined to be with someone-of the same gender no less-doesn't exactly come with an instruction manual." When I finally work the bur out of his fur I set it on the floor as far away from him as I can reach so it doesn't get rematted into his fur. He nudges my leg with his nose and a feeling of tranquility washes over me. I truly felt relaxed and my hands felt steady in his fur for the first time.

I don't say anything else. I sit in silence, absently petting Dorrian and removing the occasion bur. Every few minutes he would try to lick my hand or arm because he knew I thought it was weird. After a while Dorrian stretches and stands, walking to the middle of the room. Popping and cracking noises fill the air as he transforms back into that of a human. I look away, letting him get dressed, his boxers had been ripped during the first change. He shook his head but didn't say anything.

I lift myself from the floor and plopped back onto the bed, laying my head on one of the pillows and staring at the ceiling. Dorrian jumps on it next to me, his weight making me shift closer towards him. He looks at me with a large grin on his face.

"What?" I ask, wanting to know what he was so happy about.

"You groomed me," he teased. I felt blood rush to my face and I shrugged.

"You had burs," I try to reason and his smile only seems to get wider. I wonder for a moment if that was a big deal in the werewolf wold. Was grooming their fur an intimate thing?

"It's a mate thing. You won't ever see friends grooming each other's wolf. It symbolizes care and affection," I feel my face get impossibly hotter and Dorrian chuckles.

"I didn't know that," I tell him. He rolls and puts his arms on either side of me, caging me to the mattress. His hair flops into his eyes and his teeth showed through his smile. His nose lightly touches mine as he leans in and it makes something in my stomach feel weightless and floaty. I can't help but find his smile infectious and smile back at him.

"Would it really be that bad if you did?" Dorrian mummers. His words stun me into a silence, or rather my thoughts did. It didn't seem so bad.

His lips capture my own in a slow and tender kiss and I can feel him smile when I kiss him back. I put my hands on his chest and kiss him again before pushing him back and shaking my head.

"I have to talk to Jackie," I tell him. He sighs but nods and puts a little bit of space between us on the bed.

I may not be in a real relationship with Jackie but it still seemed wrong to kiss someone else without her knowing. We had never established whether we were in a relationship or not but she was a nice girl and I didn't want to hurt her. I would talk to her. Then, maybe I can think about Dorrian and me.