How To Be A HoRRiBle Person ✅ #TheWattys2017

Introduction

Introduction-

24

FOUR MONTHS before the gross hotel

I wake up in a panic. To my irritation it's exactly six thirty nine in the morning.

You know that cliché saying "Time heals all wounds?"

....

Your girls tell you that, when they don't know what else to say, or when their tired of hearing you complain and cant get away with "That Sucks, Dude" like guys can. I know that sounds harsh but I think we can all agree it's also true.

And I'm not just some asshole trying to fuck shit up for you, It does get better. Just not with time. I'm writing from experience because even though "Time" has gone by, I still have bad dreams.

In this dream I was 18 again, at a party, wandering the halls looking for my ex boyfriend Terence... I knew I shouldn't be searching for him, that I should let him go. But I had something important to tell him.

Terrence was my first.

I haven't thought of that boy in a long time. and It hurt, because its been like 5 years, I feel like it shouldn't hurt after all this time. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm embarrassed. We live in a time where relationships are disposable and whoever cares the least wins. So I'm made to think I shouldn't care at all anymore. That there's some sort of magical time limit on when I just won't care anymore, but it's true (and I feel like it's important to say) it still hurts. That I'm human.

This story is personal for me, like letting someone see you naked for the first time. There's just something oddly intimate about me even writing this down.

I mean he was my first everything. I will always remember that, but usually it's at a far; like that ugly fat picture of you from your childhood, It's a memory so it can't be burned, but he made me feel like that, that person I was that I hated

I have no idea what pushed Terence back up from my subconscious after all this time,; and that's exactly what I tell my best friend Summer the next day

So she looked him up on Facebook to see if he still had one.

He did. I unreasonably panicked at first like he would know, like his Marina spider senses would go off and he would see I had Summer snooping on his page.

But I'm still a girl... so lets be real

"Oh god!? what does he look like?" I said

"Still working at a bar restaurant, still smoking weed. Jesus Christ dude I can't believe you dated him, hes dating someone, She's pretty, but she's not as pretty as you. She looks nice, like someone we would befriend in high school. She kind of reminds me of you in high school a lot actually, which is creepy.

Like every girl I turned my unrealistic brat filter on the minute we started snooping through my ex's shit, so all I hear is she's pretty and I'm unreasonably upset. Even though I don't even want him anymore. Even though I have my own boyfriend. I don't tell Summer. It's been like five years I don't want to seem like I care. Even though she knows. Even though I know, she knows. My time limit on caring is up.

"Ewe Don't say that" I said really laughing.

"OH MY GOD... Marina...there's a picture of her blacked out vagina...No Marina, like her dress was too short so the photographer blacked out her cootch"

I can literally hear her holding her chest she's laughing so hard

"On Facebook?"

"No. I'm not on Facebook anymore, I'm on her modeling website"