our secret places (tyrus)

i'm gonna take a nap

~Tj's pov~

As soon as I was off campus I relaxed a little and was able to focus on what I was thinking, and where I was going. I couldn't go home, my mom would see me on the security cams.  Of course the only other place I could think to go was the park. 

When I got there I realized how much of a terrible idea that was. I couldn't help myself but be drawn to the swing set, and from the swings I was able to see through the bushes to the shed. The greatest night of my life happened there and then Reed had to go and mess everything up. 

Actually, no. If I was ever going to get myself through this then the first step would be to acknowledge that I was the root of my own problems. Sure, Reed outed Cyrus, but that was no excuse for me to do what I did. I hurt the one person who made me feel safe and cared for. 

At least now I didn't have to worry about Kira, although I still felt guilty about how that whole situation went down. 

I sat on the swings, never going higher than a few feet. I played with the sleeve of my hoodie while lost in my thoughts. But then I got a text to snap myself out of my haze. I opened my phone to see that an hour had already passed, and last period was starting about now.

From Josh: bruh  where are you? class started like ten minutes ago and i thought you were here today? Newman seems a bit pissed cus she saw you at lunch. she'll probably call ur mom

To Josh: Fuck Newman man. i honestly couldnt give a shit if she calls my mom. i just had to leave, that place before i killed someone. dw I'll be there tomorrow to work on the project 

From Josh: okay dude. you good? I dont think wanting to kill people is good

To Josh: dude we barely know each other. im fine tho thanks for asking.

Why did I do that? I always pushed away anyone who asked me if I was okay. Just today I snapped at Amber when she was just trying to show me she cared. What if that's why I pushed Cyrus away? I was just scared that he'd try to be soft or vulnerable again with me. Even though that night in the shed was great, it was also absolutely terrifying. I'd never opened up like that to anyone before, until that night. 

Once again I was saved from thought by my phone, this time it was a phone call ringing. To me surprise I had been sitting there for even longer than before, school was now out. The person calling was Amber. 

"What's up Ambs?" I answered the phone. 

"Teej where the hell are you? I've been sitting in the parking lot for like ten minutes." Oh shit, I forgot to tell her... well... what could I have told her? That I skipped school because I was so angry that the boy I pushed away moved on from me. Yeah, that was definitely not a casual conversation to have over the phone.

"Just go without me, I'll tell you about it at home." I told her, then hung up so that I could walk home. 

~

When I entered my house I could hear Amber in the kitchen making something. Upon further inspection it was clear she was baking. 

"What are you doing?" I playfully asked her. 

"I'm making you muffins. Then we're going to eat them. Then you are going to tell me why you skipped the last half of the day." She set down the batter she was stirring and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Okay I- wait how did you know that I skipped?" I asked, unsure of where the news had spilled from. 

"Mom told me. She's not very happy but I told her that you've been a bit out of it recently so-"