"Positive" •a 16 & pregnant story• (complete)

"I wish i never stayed"

Before I knew it I was in bed. Asleep, lately I've dreamed that instead of falling asleep I die. So many thoughts are in my head, not just about the baby.

Maybe I could just abort, I mean my parents would love me if I didn't have this baby, but I want this baby, I know it's crazy but I don't want to abort it, I want to keep it, watch if grow, I want to be a mother, even though I am turning 15 in a week.

Wow what a wonderful early birthday present, "your almost 15 where you can do what you want and be who you want to be finally, now here hold this baby while all your freedom is taken away before you even get any"

Great.

I woke up at 3:47, I felt like I was going to throw up. I ran to the bathroom.

I threw up but it didn't look like normal vomit, there was blood.

I went back to my room more thoughts swirling in my head.

I go to my grandmas house tomorrow at 2:00 right before my mother gets home from work, probably so she doesn't have to see my face as I leave.

I look at my phone, 1 missed call from RYLAN. I was excited but not too excited. It was probably a phone call telling me he has a new girlfriend and that we are over. He always was a player.

I finally fell back to sleep.

I woke up to the arguing of my mom and dad. It was 8:30. I could hear them clear as day, like they were trying to make me hear.

"What do you mean it's MY fault" my
mom yelled at my dad and my dad spat back.

"Your the one who got pregnant at 16 and your the one who influenced her!" I couldn't believe my mom kicked me out of this house even though she did the same thing I did!

"Yeah well your the one who was debating staying!" I knew she was crying. In a way it made me feel good, but I also felt bad.

"I wish I never stayed!" My heart sunk as my dad said those hurtful words right to my mother. Ugh I wanted to hurt him! I can't believe I use to love him! He didn't even want to be apart of this family!

I heard foot steps then the door slam, followed by my mothers sobs. I wanted to go help, but why should I? She didn't comfort me. She isn't my mother anymore. I don't want her to be. I think..

<----------------------------------------->

9:46 pm

I decided to call Rylan and see what he had to say, I had a feeling I wouldn't be happy after our phone call though.

As the phone rang I felt like I was going to be sick, not because of the baby.

After about 6 rings he finally picked up.

"Hello? Jamie?" He said groggily. He couldn't have just woken up its almost

10:00.

"Um hey Rylan can we talk, in person?" I knew the only way to work out our problems was face to face.

"Umm I'm busy right now but I could stop by *cough* in about 45 minutes." Maybe he was sick, I hope.

"Ok, ok. Thanks I- bye" I was about to say I love you, I'm glad I didn't.

<------------------------------------------->

After about 45 minutes (like he said) there was a ring at the door.

My mom peaked her head out of the door, I knew she saw me because she backed away back into her door.

What was I going to say to him? Beg him to stay? I was totally clueless of what I was going to do. Oh no.