Only You (Matty Healy/George Daniel)

34: Here

I've literally been waiting to write this chapter since I started this book.

I hope you enjoy.

- starr xx

"Have you spoken with him yet?" Ross hisses in George's general direction. George is tempted to pretend that he can't hear him, or that he doesn't know what he's talking about, but despite the fact that they're backstage, it's shockingly not that loud. So George simply shakes his head, turning his attention back to the drum pad he's practicing on. "So that's a no then."

"No...I haven't even seen him." George manages to shrug like it's no big deal, although he's actually borderline paranoid with worry over Matty. He can feel his shoulders tensing with fear at just the thought of him, and he wishes more than anything that Ross would shut up, or that Matty would show up.

"What's going on?" Adam asks, his gaze dancing in between the two of them warily when he notices the tension flaring among them.

"Nothing," George says.

"Matty," Ross answers at the same time.

Adam arches his eyebrow curiously. "Do either of you know what's up with Matty and why he's not here twenty minutes prior to show time?"

"He'll be here," John answers one of Adam's questions before George can.

George nods in agreement, although he's not nearly as confident as John. He wishes he could be, but the truth is, he hasn't spoken to Matty since last night. He's wanted to of course - god, he can barely go an hour without missing Matty, but he's keeping his promise he made to himself. He's going to leave Matty alone now, for good. All he's done is hurt him, and he doesn't deserve that - no one does.

George refuses to let his love turn into someone else's pain, especially Matty's.

That's not to say that he hasn't been keeping tabs on him, because he has. John had spent most of the day with him, during which Matty supposedly hadn't done much besides sleep. John had eventually left him approximately an hour before soundcheck after Matty had reassured him that he'd follow him to the venue soon, but yet here they are, mere minutes to showtime with no sign of Matty.

"Have you called him at least?" Adam asks when both Ross and George stay silent.

"Texted him yeah," Ross replies, "no response though."

"He could be sleeping again, he was pretty out of it most of the day," John adds in, his casual words stabbing George in the gut with a knife made of guilt although he knows that wasn't John's intentions.

"Matty won't miss a show," Adam states in a vaguely confident voice, "it's not like him."

George wants to say something in response, to alert his bandmates that Matty might not be himself right now, that perhaps George has broken him behind repair. He can't find the words to incriminate himself though, not in front of everyone. He will have to trust that Matty will make a timely appearance, otherwise, they're all fucked.

George does take out his phone discretely when everyone's attention is turned away from him, sending Matty a quick text asking him where he is and reminding him of the approaching show. A text isn't going to hurt anyone, at least, George hopes it won't. He doesn't get a response though, not that he's really expecting one.

George feels fragile as he pockets his phone, gripping his drumsticks tightly just to have something to do with his hands. His heart is pounding heavily in his chest, and he fears he's on the verge of breaking as each minute ticks by threateningly. George hates himself for causing all of this. He truly can't believe that he's risked destroying not only his friendship with Matty, but the band as well. His moment of weakness has resulted in so much more than he ever intended, and if he could take back everything from last night, he would in an instant.