7: Fade

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George lets Matty walk back into the house without putting up a fight, his muscles tight and rigid as he watches his best friend hurry back into the ring of lights with determined strides, pretending not to marvel over the way the contrasting shadows highlight the angles of Matty's cheekbones in a very flattering fashion.

And although George is aching to call out to him, to go after him, to grab his wrist and drag him back into their private corner so he can kiss him some more, he does none of those things. George knows he's crossed some sort of line already, and that if he doesn't give Matty his space, he could very well ruin everything before it even got started.

George shouldn't have kissed him so hard, he should have kept it chaste, or let Matty set the pace, but once their lips had connected, George lost all control of himself. Matty had been so warm and pliant under him, and George couldn't help himself from taking everything that he could get from Matty just in case he was never presented with the opportunity again.

George runs his hands through his hair roughly, trying not to recall how Matty had done the same thing barely two minutes ago, but it's impossible for him to stop analyzing everything that just occurred between the two of them, so he gives up on controlling his brain and allows his mind to wander as he attempts to decipher what the hell he has done wrong.

George doesn't think that Matty is upset about the kiss, he seemed to enjoy it at the very least, so locking lips with another bloke obviously isn't a turn off to him, which had been the point of this whole endeavor in the first place, but Matty had still left upset, and now George was swimming with guilt even though he doesn't feel like he did anything to deserve such harsh treatment from his best friend.

George shrugs off his anxiety quickly though, aware of the fact that sitting here and worrying over it will do nothing to help either of them. He will leave Matty be until it's time to head home, maybe apologize to him if Matty still seems off later. This isn't the first time Matty has reacted oddly to something George has done, so everything will be fine - at least, George hopes that it will be.

Not knowing what to do with himself now that he can't glue himself to Matty's side like he's being choosing to all night, George decides to head back inside, making his way upstairs for a bit since he hasn't explored that area of the house yet. He runs into Grimmy and Harry again on the way, managing to kill half an hour chatting with them before they get pulled into a new conversation by another guest, leaving George alone again and at a loss for how to occupy his time now.

George considers drinking more, but he wants a clear head right now. He's barely able to contain himself from searching for Matty as it is, and if he adds alcohol to his already Matty obsessed brain, it isn't going to end well.

That doesn't stop George from thinking about him though, in fact, that's all George has been doing since they separated, even though George swore to stop beating himself up over what is probably nothing, but still - that is easier said than done.

George just wants to make sure that Matty's okay, his stomach is churning when he considers the possibility that he might have done something to ruin their friendship. Offering himself up to Matty like that isn't the smartest thing George has ever done, but the thought of Matty doing those things with anyone else literally has George feeling sick and borderline dizzy.

And it's not that he isn't okay with Matty getting into a relationship with another man, because he is - this isn't jealousy, it's compassion. For all of Matty's bravado, he's sensitive right now, not to mention achingly lonely. George wouldn't put it past his best mate to hook up with some asshole that will end up hurting him to try and bury the pain of Gemma's departure in someone else's skin.

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