Warriors: The Third Strike: Book Five: Trail of Malice

Chapter 16

[Bloodtear's POV]

I twisted in turned as I could not sleep. I mean, I can't sleep in general but I rest at times to relieve myself of stress. I really needed to sleep now. I had too much stress that it made me impossible to sleep, and it gave me so much regret. I should never have done it. I made my mate, the only love of my life, mad at me. She had gone to MapleClan to avoid me. 

I wished the wander the forest of the Dark Forest, but it seemed impossible. Since I had been back in the forest, I found it almost impossible to the forest I would have rather stayed my home. It had been a while since I saw the forest and could actually wander through it. It only made me regret my decisions more. Tinystar was a marvelous ruler like we all thought she would be, but to what cost? I lost my mate because I decided to make her the ruler. 

Maplefur could not talk to me for what I had done, and I could not blame her. I took back my old name, Creekheart. Instead of being called by a warrior name, I took the first part and introduced myself as a rogue to someone I should never have fallen for. 

Deerscar did not deserve me, and she would never know that it was me. I planned on meeting with Maplefur to express my love to her. I wanted to run away with her, start our own life away from all of this drama. I did not even care if Tinystar stayed the leader after I left. I wanted to be away from the clans where I could no longer be tempted by the female that looked so pretty. 

I know I messed up, but I had met with her a few times before. She was rebellious, but I saw a spark in her. I was so stupid caring for the female. She now laid in the nursery pregnant with my kits. I did not want to see them, nor did I care for them at all. I only cared about Maplefur. 

I didn't even think that I would be able to bear kits as I was technically not alive anymore, but apparently StarClan had to have it's last laugh on me. I knew it was Redstar's doing. My father used to love me, but then when I turned down the path of evil, he hated me. He must have done this for one last laugh. 

But this whole situation made me think for a moment. How did Metalclaw even be able to have kits as well? He would be classified with me as being dead, but living. Did us living in the mortal world for so long change our bodies so much that it changed what we were? Did it mean that if we continued to stay here, we might even be able to die again? I had unanswered questions, but I knew I could never have answers to. Maybe this whole thing was just a cruel joke from StarClan to see if they can make us care again before we get turned into monsters like the Phantoms.