The thoughts I feel

Alive

I feel alive.
I actually feel alive again.
Not drained.
Not hollow and empty.
Not emotionally and physically tired.
Not dead on the inside.
Alive.

Alive,
alive as in I want to go out and see the world.
Alive as in I want to laugh all day.
Alive as in I don't want to give up.
Alive. Alive and hopeful.
Joyful.

Happy to be alive.

I forgot how beautiful life can be.
How wonderful it is to wake up in the morning and not dread getting up.
How delicious food is.

I forgot how to live.

I forgot how much fun it is to read a sad love story.
How amazing it is to laugh at a hideous joke with your friends.
How breathtakingly beautiful this planet is.

I forgot how to live.

I forgot how to enjoy the little things,
Always being  so concentrated on the big things,
The uncontrollable things,
The awful things,
The painful things,
The things that don't matter merely as much as the little things do.

I forgot how to live.

But I remember.

I remember the feeling of the wind in your hair,
Messing up the way you had pinned it up.
I remember the feeling to be out of breath from laughing too much.
I remember the feeling of blushing when someone compliments you.
I remember dancing and singing along to your favorite song,
Completely out of tune.
I remember.
I remember all aspects of life.
And it is beautiful,
through all of struggles and pain,
Life is beautiful.

I remember falling,
But being picked up.
I remember being hurt,
But being loved.
I remember being pushed away,
But being accepted by new people, better people.
I remember being torn apart,
But being held together.
I remember being broken down,
But being rebuilt.

I remember it all.
And it's beautiful.
And painful,
But mostly beautiful.

I'm alive.
I feel alive.
And I love it,
I love being alive.

wow i never thought i would say that.