The thoughts I feel

Sorry

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, that I was weak when I should have been strong.
I'm sorry, that I let my fears get to me.
I'm sorry, that I kept you up at night, while I cried myself to sleep.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me.
I'm sorry that I didn't make you laugh when you wanted to.
I'm sorry I forgot how to be happy.

I'm
Sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm weak.
I'm sorry that I can't fix myself.
I'm sorry that I'm sad all the time.
I'm sorry that I'm not a good person.

I'm sorry that I let my emotions get the best of me.

Can't you see,
I am genuinely sorry.

I wish I could take it all back,
The times I cried,
The times I hurt you because I was too blinded by my own agony to see what harm I was doing,
The times I blamed you for my pain,
The times I pushed you away instead of supporting you,
The times I took your love for granted.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for all the bad times.
I'm sorry for all the good times,
You now can't think about because the mere memory hurts too much,
To remember.

I'm sorry for being too weak to just leave you,
Instead of staying and slowly tearing you apart.

I'm sorry.
I'm a bad person.

I'm sorry that I couldn't be what you needed.
I'm sorry I couldn't support and love you.
I wanted to.
But I was too weak,
And too blinded by my own agony to see your pain.
I'm sorry that I didn't notice your suffering earlier.

Can't you see I'm sorry?

Please know I am sorry.
I wanted to fix this.

But my apologies came too late,
My hugs - too late,
My soothing words - too late,
My love - too late.
I came
Too late.

I let this happen to you.
I let myself watch you destroy yourself.
I even helped you destroy yourself.

I'm sorry.
I love you.

Please know I'm sorry.
Please accept my apology.
Please forgive me.

I know I will never accept my apology.
I know I will never forgive myself.

But maybe you can.
For I love you
More than I love anyone else.

More than I love myself.