dbh: imagine

connor | ⚠️

warning: self harm ⚠️

"Just leave, stop trying." Gavin scoffed, pushing past you, cauaing you to hiss in pain from a stinging sensation in your arm. Though, he ignored you, thankfully.

Gavin Reed always degrades you. Taunts you and insults you. It hurts, really, it does. But you dont say anything, allowing him to say what he wants. He is your partner, you dont really get a choice in the matter.

Your eyes follow the man until he is hidden by the walls of the break room. Your gaze held a sad, almost numbing look. Though, you soon turned your head back around and sighed, walking in the direction of your desk.

You share a glance with Hank, your friend, before taking a seat in your desk. You sat with Anderson, basically desk mates, along with the spare desk where he assigned his android buddy. Connor.

Connor and you were friends as well, though he has been.. Distancing himself from you, for some reason. It hurts, but.. You dont say anything. And at the moment, Connor was focused on his terminal.

"Gavin giving you problems again?" Hank huffed, just earning a shrug from you.

"When isnt he." You stiffle a laugh, earning a scoff of amusement from the man.

"Touché." He replied, turning his attention back to his terminal. Then there was silence, other then the distant conversation from other officers.

You turned on your terminal, and began typing away of your reports. Some caught your eye, homicides and missing people reports mostly. Some recent and some old. Though, you didnt really have the will to go out right now.

"Miss L/n--"

"I said Y/n was fine." You cut off and corrected Connor, who quickly nodded his head.

"Right, my apologies Y/n. Why is your sleeve covered in blood?" Connor tilted his head in your direction, eyes staring down at your sleeve of the white blouse you were wearing. You follow his gaze, before you gasp.

Some cuts probably reopened after Gavin shoved past you.

"Oh gosh, uhm. I should go clean this up-" You quickly stood up, ignoring the confused and concerned calls from Hank and Connor as you rushed to the womans restroom.

There, you quickly shut the the door and stood in front of one of the mirrors, quickly pulling up your sleeve to reveal bloody cuts across the inside of your arm. You stopped and just stared as blood slowly dripped down your arm, soaking your sleeve.

A small exhale escaped you, as you close your eyes and stood with the pain for a minute. You knew you couldnt stay with this blood stained blouse, so you decided you would clock out without a second notice.

Quickly, you clean up your wounds and rush out of the department, not being noticed by anyone. Thats wonderful. You quickly caught a cab and made your way home.

-----

There was fresh cuts on your arm now.

You've been home for a few hours now, sitting in your shower, staring as blood runs down the bathtub and into the drain. The blade you held was from a pencil sharpener, you had screwed out of the plastic.

The words of Gavin werent the only thing that made you so upset. Your boyfriend cheated on you and left without saying a word while you were at work. You.. Felt so unneeded. You felt like you werent enough. That just proved Gavins words.

Thats when you began to hurt yourself. It started with a simple cut, up until reckless slashes acrossed your arm. You werent suicidal, you cant kill yourself. This.. This is an addiction, a horrible coping mechanism that you use. Sadly.