Unspoken | Nomin

💭 | fourteen

Jaemin stared at his phone's homescreen wallpaper which is a selfie picture of Jeno with his beautiful eyesmile. He slowly caressed its side as if he's touching Jeno's cheek for real, small smile creeping on his lips until the light of his phone turned off. He carefully put his phone on the nightstand beside his bed.

He get on the bed, laying on his back then stared on the ceiling, thinking of none other than Jeno.

He really misses his bestfriend already. He's not used of being so far away from him. Though there are times before that they aren't together but it only lasted for a few days. Not like this. He is and he will be far away from the older for years and the chance of meeting him again are only during semestral breaks and holidays.

He misses Jeno's exaggerated laughs, the way he scrunches his nose, how his eyes disappear everytime he's laughing or smiling, his addiction to gongcha, his corny jokes, his weird yet funny habit of making faces that doesn't fail to make him laugh, and most of all, his warm bear hugs.

"Yah Nana... is this another prank?..."

"U-uhm... Nana... i'm glad you opened up about your feelings towards me. I know you gathered all the courage you have just to tell me this. You did great. I'm proud of you..."

"...but i'm sorry Nana... I don't feel the same. We're great bestfriends, I don't want to ruin that. And besides..."

"We're both guys, Jaemin."

The sparkles on the brunet's eyes quickly faded as he remembered that nice yet painful rejection he got from Jeno.

He's somewhat expecting it already but he didn't exactly know that it hurts so much that it's killing him inside.

Jeno's right. He gathered all of his courage just to confess to him. He's aware of how risky it is since they are bestfriends but he still did it for the sake of his feelings and the thinking that the older has the right to know about it too.

He likes Jeno for a long time already. He doesn't know how and when it exactly started. He just woke up one day finding the older so attractive. He always misses Jeno's presence, he's always longing for his warm and euphoric touch and the blond's voice sounds like a melody to him.

He got swayed with his feelings too much, not realizing that he's falling too deep yet Jeno didn't catch him. And now he has to live with a broken heart until someone walk into his life again and fix it. But he guess it will took a long while before that time comes.

He's still willing to wait for Jeno though. He's somehow hoping that his bestfriend will realize that he likes him too even though he find it quite impossible especially now that Jeno cleared to him that he's straight.

To be honest, that is one of the reason why he chose to go to Seoul National University even though he and Jeno planned to go to NCT University together. He thought that maybe, just maybe being far away from the older will help him forget about his feelings towards the boy and move on. But he guess it will be a long and hard process for him.

A tear prickling his eyes made Jaemin blink a few times, making him come back to his senses. He heaved a deep sigh and was about to cover himself with his blanket when Renjun suddenly entered their room.

"Oh? Jaemin... you're still awake?" Renjun slowly closed the door without removing his gaze from Jaemin.

"I was about to sleep  when you entered." The younger replied with a small smile as he followed Renjun with look as the chinese boy walked towards his own bed and did an indian sit there.

"Oh... it's already the start of classes in three weeks. Do you have any plans for your remaining free time?"

"Uhm... i'm... waiting for my bestfriend. He said he'll visit me here so i'm planning to spend the rest of my free time with him. I guess?" Jaemin said with a timid chuckle.

"Oh..." Renjun nodded. "Jeno's his name, right?"

"Yup."

"I'm looking forward to meet him too."

"I'm sure he do too." Jaemin smiled as he stared at the ceiling once more, thinking of Jeno again.

"Anyway, I'll be gone for a few days next week. My cousin will arrive here from China and I have to assist him with enrolling and stuffs." Renjun laid on his back as he informed the brunet.

"Oh... okay." Jaemin answered.

"But if you need something, just call me." Renjun looked at him again and smiled.

Jaemin looked at the older then nodded while smiling too.

"Thanks Renjun."

"Don't mention it. That's what friends are for. Let's sleep now." Renjun chuckled as he fixed himself on the bed, finding a comfortable spot to sleep. "Good night Jaemin."

"Good night."

Jaemin closed his eyes and quickly fell into a deep slumber with nothing running in his mind but Jeno.