Jayla (My Story)

CT pt.2

In early December Mama's sister took her for her mamagram. That same day they she was prepped for surgery.

My (B) Dad and uncle Grady were sitting in a circle along with my sisters and I holding hand.
" Father we ask that you see mama through this surgery sadly." My daddy began to pray. "Lord you know she is needed."
I didn't know what was going on really but I knew mama was having surgery and I was scared. I knew there was a chance she may not wake up and seeing the big men before me cry terrified me.
" Lord be with her and guide the doctors hands and we give u all the glory in Jesus' name. Amen. He finished.

Sitting in the hospital room waiting for mama to be taken back mama was telling us all how much we meant to her. This took up alot of Time as she had six kids of her own and then the three of us.
" Don't worry you know God is gonna take care of me he knows I have to be here for y'all. I love yall." Mama said to us. She was always so strong. Even with the wait of the world on her she found a way to comfort us.
The anestheiologist came in and gave mama a shot and it wasn't long before they were rolling her away.

Sitting there watching everyone sit silently was unnerving. My family are loud jokesters. But today was a sad day in our happy little world.

Dr. Came out and called for Harding family.
" Yes." A few replied.

"Is it OK to speak everyone?" He asked looking at the packed waiting area.
" Yea, it's all family." Uncle Grady replied.
" Well, it is cancer." He started. " It had spread throughout the breast and Into the lymph nodes it all has to be removed. I will return shortly with an update." He said as he turned to walk away. The whole family had broken down. I didn't really understand anything the dr had just said but seeing my family in this state told me is was really bad.
I was just staring lost in my own thought when I heard uncle Terry call to me.
" Fat Baby, u wanna come to the chapel with me?" He asked
I opened my mouth to answer but couldn't get the words to come so I just nodded. He took my hand and let me to the hospital church. He knelt down not letting go of my hand and bowed his head so I did the same.
Now even though my family were all believers my uncle Terry was not a "liver" if you know what I mean. I think he always knew God was real always believed in him but he didn't live it. He was a partier. Of all sorts. Seeing him knelt there begging God and crying made me feel so small.
After what felt like hours he got up, kissed my head and lead me back to the waiting room.

As we approached I heard voices getting load.
" Well Mama wants them here when she wakes up so they aren't going anywhere." My (B) dad said
" I'm gonna take them and get them something to eat. Jesse. They can't stay here and not eat. She hasn't even went to recovery yet." My (a) dad replied.
" Fine, but Eddie, you better bring them back." (B) dad said worried because a custody battle was about to be started and at the time they both still had custody.
"I will, you have my word." And with that we were told to go with him.

Reluctantly I walked with him to the exit. So much had taken place in such a short time. I looked at the man I love so much but so much anger went through my mind. How could he do these horrible things. I guess a part of me at the time blamed him for what mama was going through. Like he somehow gave her cancer.
" Y'all know that even though your mom and I aren't together anymore I still love y'all right." He started. " I will always be your dad no matter what. I still love y'all just as much as I did before and none of this is your fault. Yall understand that?"
Ya it's all your fault. Your the reason we are not together. Your the one that left I thought but I just nodded my head.
After we finished eatting we left to go back to the hospital. I was hoping mama was awake now. We stopped at a pay phone and daddy said someone wanted to talk to us before we went back. He dialed a number and one by one the phone was passed. Now it was my turn.
" Hey honey, my name is Ella." I heard the woman say.
"Hey" I replied
" I am a friend of your dad's he has told me so much about you. Y'all sure are some beautiful girls. You know I'm gonna be your new mommy." She said.
I didn't want to hear anymore I turned and handed the phone back to dad and asked if we can go check on mama now. I hated her already. Who did she think she was. I would never be hers and she will never be my mommy.

It wasn't long after we got back that they brought mama in her room. Everyone was overjoyed that she was alright. The Dr said she would have to take chemo and radiation.