Jayla (My Story)

The c- section

  The next morning I grabbed my bags and was ready to go. I had to be at the hospital at 10:30 for prep. I was excited that I was going to be holding my baby in my arms in a matter of hours but I had an uneasy feeling. When your pregnant your body does the work. You don't even have to think about it. Once I bring him home it'll be all on me. To make sure he eats, bathes, brushes his teeth, studies. For eighteen years I would be responsible for this life. That's longer than I have currently been alive. Lord help me I thought.

I couldn't get Jack's voice out of my head as we pulled up at the hospital. Would he really show up? What would he do if he did. The things you don't know are always what gets you the most. As I walked into the hospital I said a silent prayer. Lord give me peace. See my baby into this world safely and let him be healthy. In Jesus name Amen.

"Well hello again." A familiar voice said from across the room. I couldn't place it but I knew I had heard it before. Somewhere with Jack. My heart started racing as I turned to see who was speaking. When I saw him I relaxed instantly.

" Deputy Jarvis. How are you." I asked with a smile.

" I'm good. Looks like your about ready to pop." He replied.

" Ya I'm here for delivery actually." I told him and his face got darker.

" The father coming?" He asked looking me in my eye.

" He's not invited. But he called last night to say he'd see me. After he got out of jail he said all the things he did was because of drugs and promised not to do them anymore. But he couldn't keep his anger under control for one full day. So I sent him packing. Why are you here I hope everything's okay"

" Oh yes, I came with another officer to bring an inmate. But I am off duty as of now." He said looking at his watch. " I'm glad to hear your away from him. In all my life I will never forget that night. I made sure he has been banned from this county. For your safety and the safety of your baby. I done everything I could to keep him away from you. There is something wrong with that boy and I didn't want your life on my hands and mind." He said taking a seat back in the waiting area.

" Well I truly thank you. I couldn't see it but I'm glad someone did." I said

" That's my job and don't you worry about him showing up I am off and have nothing better to do than sit right here. If he shows I will gladly take him back to jail." He told me with a smile

" Well thank you again." I said as they called my name he nodded.

   They took me in a room gave me the paper gown to put on and the hair hat.

" Who's going back with you? They will need these too." She said I looked around the room.

" I can't. I would pass out seeing her insides laying on a table." Mama said.

I knew daddy wouldn't be comfortable back there and Jess was six months pregnant so she didn't need to go in and see that. Of course either of them would have but I didn't want them to.

" I'll go with you if want me to." Lisa spoke up. I would be just as comfortable with her as anyone else.

" Yes." I said so she took her suit to the bathroom to get dressed everyone else went out so I could change too. Them it was time.

They wheeled me into the operating room and pulled open the back of the gown. I was trying to keep my bottom covered but they pulled it open again.

" They're about to see it all anyways" Lisa said and I blushed. Well this is embarrassing. I thought

" OK where gonna do the epidural now." Someone behind me stated.
" We need you to bend over grab your ankles and hold still OK."

Did they see me I'd do good to bend far enough to grab my knees. I didn't have to worry though I had help someone pushed on my back sending pressure through my lower parts. Are they trying to push this baby out?

Then I felt a warmth wash over me followed by a tingling feeling and nothing. The doctor asking if I feel this or that. Nope I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't see anything either they had a blue sheet that came up from my waist. I am watching Lisa's face to get an idea of what's going on but her face is more pale than normal and her eyes are big.
" Is everything alright?" I asked and she nodded.

It's amazing the things you don't realize you feel until you don't feel it anymore. I'm laying there listening and shaking (which is normal during a c- section) when I start to panic. I'm not breathing. Why am I not breathing? I hear the beeping of the monitor speeding up.

" What's wrong?" The nurse beside me asks

" I'm not breathing." I said in a panic.

" Your are breathing." He told me

" No I'm not." I said again

" Your talking you have to be breathing. You just can't feel it." He explained well now I feel stupid. I should have thought of that but all I could think of was not feeling my chest rise and fall from taking in air and letting it out.

" It's OK it happens alot. I'll unstrap your arm. Put it over you mouth and and you can feel the air OK. That will reassure you." He said understanding. At least I'm not the only one. I thought

" OK your about to feel alot of pressure. This baby didn't want to wait on us and he is stuck in the pelvic bone so we will have to push him up then pull him OK." The doctor told me from the other side of the sheet

" Ohhh..."  I yelled alot of pressure was right it felt like an elephant stepped on my chest. I couldn't feel my breathe but this I feel how does that work

Then I heard the best sound in the world I heard Jax cry. I wanted to see him so bad. Then they held him up over the sheet he was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. I just wanted him in my arms. He was looking back at me with those blue eyes that most babies are born with. Then something dripped off him onto my face. GROSS they laid him on my chest and gave me a napkin.
" Hi baby I'm your mommy." I said to him as he looked at my face like he already knew. I knew then I loved him more than life. My baby Jax.

They took him to clean him up which I had no problem with. I couldn't hold my eyes open anymore.

When I woke up I was back in my room with my family. And Jeff. We had gotten pretty serious. I looked around to see my dad hold Jax. He was a proud pawpaw. 

" I want my baby." I said and the placed Jax in my arms. He was so tiny but he was long. I was admiring this sweet baby that had grown inside me when the door to my room opened.

I turned my head to the door to see who else was there but relaxed when my doctor came in.

" How you feeling?" He asked

"Good." I said.

" Good. Well other than him having his bags packed early and having to be pushed back everything was perfect. That's where these marks came from." He informed me pointing to a red stripe on either side of Jax's head " he's perfectly healthy at 5 lbs 15 ozs and 21 inches long. Time of birth 12:59 pm. He's just one behind today." He said laughing at his own joke. Then he got up and left me to my family.

Everything was right for once in a long time. Well except for the fact that I had a catheter and it caused me to swell. I felt like it would pop. I called the nurse and she said it was an allergic reaction and they would have to take it out but I would have to go to the bathroom on my own. I had no problem with that.

That night as I laid in the bed holding baby Jax. It was crazy the love you feel for your child I didn't know love could be this strong nothing compared to this. I pressed my lips to his little cheek and he turned his head with his mouth open like a fish out of water. I laughed so hard. I kissed his other side and he turned that way. Opening and closing his mouth. My little fish mouth baby.