(100 reads :O oh god here we go again ahaha lol, I love you so much thanks xx)
Adam left. I was hanging off of the couch with my feet swung over Matty's legs.
"I think I'm gonna call it a night" I sigh and start to get up from my comfortable state.
"You mean call it a morning?" Matty whines and patts my upper leg as I walk by him "I'll be right in too."
I shuffle over to my closet and find some pink victorias secret pyjamas that I can wear. I spot some faded blood spots on the right sleeve and I quickly try to push the memory back.
(ATTENTION: DEPRESSING / DISTURBING / WORSE CONTENT!!!!!!!!!)
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I look up to stare at a horrible appearance in the mirrored cabinet that was hovering over my moms sink which was located in the bathroom down the hall from the master bedroom.
My eyes were bloodshot and my hair was messy. My cheeks were stained with tears and my heart was nearly dead, you could see it.
My eyes traveled back to the metal toy that I held on thight to. Never would I let it fall, let it break. Like they let me fall, let me break. They left me, left me behind.
The sharp razor blades were about an inch above my arm that I could fell the pain traveling from the metal to my sensitive skin.
'Nothing could ever keep me from doing this' I thought to myself 'I bet not even love could' I spoke out loud.
The three blades hit my skin and ripped it open, not to deep but it hurt. A few strains of blood ran over my arm and caused a little pool on my hand and fingers.
Then one tear fell directly into the fresh cut wound, the one that went in the deepest.
It burnt so bad that I took that as a sign to stop.
Since then I didn't cut anymore.
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My hand caress my right arm and I remember the feeling of the tear hitting the bloody, wounded skin.
It was like a warning and a wonder together. The feeling was terribly horrible but at the same time it was the signal feeling. The signal feeling of relief. The feeling of getting tired. The feeling of loving myself.
I decide to leave the shirt on sothat I will be reminded. Always.
I remember the thought I had,
'Nothing could ever keep me from doing this'
'I bet not even love could'
Did Matthew's love really save me or was it just an illusion?
I walk out of the bedroom and find myself secretly listening to Matty on the phone.
"We can't do it tomorrow, love" he whisperes and continues to whisper the intire time. He doesn't want me to hear it? 'Of course he doesn't it's obvious, isn't it?!' the stupid voice in the back of my head says. I roll my eyes at her and immediately notice how awkward that probably looked.
"Bring the lace" he chuckles and hangs up.
Bring the lace? Bring the lace? Bring the lace?
Bring the lace fabric? Bring the lace top? Lace skirt? Or bring the fucking lace bra?!
What the hell?
'love' I thought 'he called her love'.
Was he betraying me?
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sorry for this kind of disturbing content but I can't just have everything be clichée right?
Haha xx -Anna
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Girl, I'm not your savior (Matthew Healy love story) SEQUEL
Fanfiction**SEQUEL TO THEY CAN'T BRING US DOWN!!!** Ray and Matthew are back but now, everything is different. They are officially together, like really together. But plans get destroyed. Hopes become fears. Realities become lies. I hope you like the second...
