darling [s.stan]

[25] real life

sebastian just sat on the couch in his living room. his head in his hands as if it was so heavy that it would fall off if he stopped holding it.

anthony had told him time and time again how comfortable his damn couch was, how relaxing it was, how nice it was. but now, it felt like it was made out of rocks. and all he could see was a floating vision of nora when she would fall asleep in his arms when watching friends with him late at night.

he didn't mean to do it. but when they first dated, cruel intentions was the name of the game. but sebastian was sure he changed, he didn't like the man he was before. but now it seemed that he was back to the beginning, like he was shot back 12 years into the past.

the truth was, if seb never saw the pictures posted by e!news he would've never known that he cheated. he was black out drunk, he couldn't even remember what he was wearing and the name of the club they went to. therefore, he sure as hell didn't remember seeing genny or kissing her.

he hadn't slept since he saw the article, but even worse than the pictures were nora's words. how his love meant nothing, how all the desire and passion that he felt for the small italian girl was worth less than a penny.

he was about to fall asleep, gracefully dozing into a world where nora was still with him and they were still happy. but when a rather angry knock sounded at the door he knew it could be one of five people: camille, molly, his mom, chris, or anthony. today sebastian had drawn the absolute shortest straw, standing on his door step was molly sun, equipped with a black prada bag and a pink pocket knife.

she let herself in and stood in front of him, knife at the ready. sebastian just stood in front of her, his mouth agape because he had exactly zero idea of what to say.

"well," she tapped her foot on the hardwood and picked at her nails, "start talking."

he was still silent, still unable to even meet her eyes. molly was vicious even before he and nora broke up. if she was a movie character she would probably be big michael from the blindside, not because she was a huge black man, but her protective instinct was off the charts. nora was her family and god have mercy on whoever hurt her family, because he knows she won't.

"i don't get it, seb. why did you cheat on her? and worst of all, with her." she didn't speak genny's name, neither of them could. it brought up such a broken and vile feeling as if their hearts were cracking in two at the same time as bile was stirring and rising in their stomachs.

"because," he trailed off, struggling to find the right words, "god, molly, i don't know."

molly just rolled her eyes and flipped her hair over her shoulder, "yes you do, you're lying."

"i wasn't good for her, you saw it first hand. everyone saw it."

once again she rolled her eyes, "that's not a real reason and you know it, sebastian."

he sighed deeply and ran a hair through his long and dark messy hair. the hair that he hadn't bothered to comb or even wash since the final text she sent.

"when we dated before, i hurt her. i hurt her all the time. sometimes i even meant to just because i could and i hated myself for it, but i never stopped. i couldn't. i loved it when she would stare at me with her wide brown eyes. because, god, she was so pretty when she cried over me."

he only paused to stare at molly's disgusted face, which was now contorting into a face of pure rage.

"she was in love with me," he started, "and i guess i didn't know what i wanted and i guess i took advantage of her. but i love her."

"why do you keep saying 'you guess'?"

he shook his head, "i don't remember that night at all. i remember waking up to a million notifications and crying my eyes out when i found out what was on the internet. i didn't go home with genny, i woke up alone. i was so fucking drunk, molly."

"listen, you're a dick. like a total dick. actually, no, you're a bag of dicks. a gallon ziplock bag of..."

"... thanks molly."

"but, i don't think that you would willingly cheat on her. did genny pay you?"

he shook his head, "i woke up poorer not richer."

she just nodded and bit her lip, the pocket knife slowly sliding back into her bag where it belonged.

"i'm sorry, molly."

"don't be sorry, be better. she needs space, you need to take some time off and figure your own problems out. and maybe, MAYBE, something will change."

and he clung onto that small piece of hope at the end of her sentence, maybe something will change.