darling [s.stan]

[27] real life

nora stood outside the apartment that held all of her worst fears. she used to be able to just walk in, make a cup of tea and sit on the couch or go take a nap in the bed that they used to share. but now, she stood outside the door with her fist hovering over the door, terrified to knock and make her presence known.

maybe she could just turn around and walk away. there was always the option where she just made chris get her stuff or have sebastian drop it off by the theater.

but nora knew she didn't recite "i'm a bad bitch." in her head seventy times before she got here for nothing. she was going to get her shit and get out.

so she raised her fist and banged out 3 quick raps on the door, silently hoping sebastian wouldn't be home. but all hope was lost when the door slowly freaked open and revealed sebastian's tear stained face.

"ellie." he croaked out, his voice raspy and heart breaking.

"hi," she said softly as she slowly entered his apartment, "i just needed to get some stuff that i left here. and i have some stuff that's yours."

"you could've kept it." he grumbled, taking the bag full of shirts, sweatpants, underwear, and a toothbrush.

"no i couldn't have."

"why not?"

she stomped her foot, not on purpose it was just a reflex when she was angry or didn't get what she wanted. eleanora knew it was childish but the motion had stuck.

"because it hurts."

he scoffed and handed her back everything that had been left at his apartment over the months, "and giving it all back doesn't? don't you love me?"

"i can't do this right now." she said sternly and turned for the door, only for seb to grab her wrist before she could leave.

"when will you do it? when are you going to accept that my feelings for you won't change?"

"you cheated on me!" she yelled, surprising herself when she rose her voice, "do you know how many people say you're not worth my tear?. tons, sebastian, tons. but i cry anyway because if you weren't worth it i wouldn't be crying. you don't know it, but you changed my world and you'll never know how much you mean to me. but you broke my heart. you made me think it was my fault that you couldn't love me. i can't hurt anymore, i don't want to. i'm going home, maybe i'll see you opening night."

she walked out. he let her walk out and he knew from that moment that he would hate himself for letting her just leave.

you should've put up a fight sebastian.

you should have told her the truth, told her you don't remember.

you should've never went out.

but all the should've, could've, would've adds up to just what he messed up on.