Whirlwind

(43) nearly there

LIBBY

***

FIVE MONTHS AFTER THAT

After I got back from New York, true to his word, letters came every day for the rest of the year.

Each one was more descriptive and more beautiful than the last. With those letters, the days of emptiness without him were slightly easier to bear. Knowing he was still sending them, even after seeing me, was a huge relief.

I sent ones back to him as well. Or at least I tried. I'm not a wordsmith by any stretch of the imagination so mine were rubbish compared to his. But I sent them with things that reminded me of him, pictures of me, the family and my memories of us together. I also sent care packages... British chocolate, pictures of Jughead... couple of pairs of my pants... and I'd get a letter back about two weeks later with the response because he'd obviously pre-sorted them. Or usually he'd Skype me.

Today was day number two hundred and forty-seven... and there were eighty or so days left before I can see him again.

We hadn't spoken for a couple of days, and since he started the West Coast leg of his book tour of North America it's been a lot harder to get him and keep him on the phone. The time difference is definitely kicking both of our butts. It was kicking our butte so much so that I'd given up sorting any wedding stuff until he came back. We'd had four attempts at looking at venues over Skype or the phone but each time he'd been called away within ten minutes, leaving me a mixture between sad and annoyed. I knew it wasn't his fault, but I just missed him terribly.

To soften the blow of not being able to talk on the phone as much, he texts all the time. Even when he should be sleeping. He's texted me pictures so many pictures so far, and the size of the halls they have him in are massive. He's been so humble about it when we talked in New York, but I think my fiancé is more of a successful writer than I thought.

His first book was already a hit when we left, but I hadn't even thought of everywhere else. That sounds so awful now that I'm thinking about it... because this is what could become his livelihood and I'm only just realising. So I decide to correct that.

I fire up my laptop and open up google chrome, typing his name into the search bar. And what I get back is shocking. His name, his book list, a website, a blurb with what they could find out about his family life... All of those things are underneath a beautiful picture of him.

They'd made him change his hair for it, tidying him up a bit, but it's him. When we had left each other in September, his hair had been growing out again after he cut it before we went to California, but here they had changed it. His hair was brown, no bleaching from the North Carolina sun. They hadn't quite made him stick a brush through it, but it was just tame and brown, which is how he hates it. The word tame somehow doesn't suit Jasper. When I'd seen him though, he hadn't seemed so miffed about having to cut his hair, so I didn't mention anything. But it wasn't so bad? When I saw him in New York the blonde was starting to creep back and his hair was sticking up adorably. And I love that about his hair. I braided it once when he was asleep and it was hilarious. It's tousled and mouldable, and if we ever have kids, girls in particular, I can see him being a hair model for them a lot.

But when I scrolled down on his web page, it seemed in the space of nearly a year he had Whirlwind, Ides of the Fall published, along with an untitled Ides of the Fall project being released later this year... which meant he'd probably been writing like crazy. And that made me so proud of him.

"Hey, come back!" Lo says, clicking in front of my face. "Your nose is about to hit the screen!" She giggles.

I look up from my laptop to see my best friend sitting opposite me on my bed. I have no idea how I hadn't noticed her come in.

"Hey, when did you get here?"

"About half an hour ago?" She giggles. "You grunted when I came in, so I at least got an acknowledgement. What are you looking at?"

I sniff and wipe my nose with my sleeve. I'd been reading the comments on Whirlwind and when I look again I'm on page forty-six of comments. Christ I'm sad...

"Jasper's book. I think I need to read it. Look at all these comments..." I turn my laptop around. "They really love him. Some more than they should." I giggle when I point to Soccer_Mom63's comment of re-enacting page 247. I didn't know what was on page 247 but I found myself getting a bit angry that she wanted to reenact with Jasper. I just hoped she hadn't been to any of the book signings to ask that.

"You mean you haven't?" She asks, furrowing her brow. I shake my head in response.

"Is that bad? He's never really asked me to... and I figured it was too private?"

"So he shares his book with the whole world and then doesn't let you read it?" She giggles.

I shrug but then realise what she's just said. "Whole world? What? I thought it was only published in the US?"

She shakes her head and laughs. "No! Jeez are you clueless! It's here too. Did he not tell you?"

"No! What the fuck?" I go to Amazon and type in the title of his book and lots of different options are forced in my face, asking me how I want to read it. "Audiobook, kindle, hardback? Why didn't he tell me?" I scratch my forehead, confused. "I knew he wasn't trying to make a big deal of it but this is huge." Jasper was definitely more successful than I thought.

"So wait it's him that hadn't told you? The book's not so bad that you shouldn't read it..."

"You've read it?!" I squeal, knowing the pages are based off of the stuff we did.

"Yeah of course. I couldn't put it down. Paige is incredible. I love how strong she is."

Paige? I click on the blurb and read it out loud.

Paige hadn't thought she'd ever find love.

Being the bookish type who'd rather spend time in the library, she hadn't been expecting love to hit her in such an unusual place.

When she crashes into Will in her first week of orientation, she soon finds herself captivated and him feeling exactly the same.

After a whirlwind year of dramas, ups and downs and pure happiness, will the two stick it out or will they move their separate ways and choose only to remember the memory of true love?

I cup my mouth. Oh my god. This was us. Holy shit.

He'd used different names, but now I could finally understand why he'd gained such a following. The comments below were enough to go on, but then I didn't know if he wanted me to read it. He hadn't told me to, but then he hadn't told me not to read it either.

It would give me an insight into his mind, and I could finally read his writing. I already know how talented he is from reading his letters all year. So if he writes like that in letters then of course this book will blow me away. I know what I was potentially getting myself in for, but I simply had to. I had to see what all the fuss was about.

I select the kindle book option, so I can read it straight away, and click buy.

I see Lois get up and leave my room in the corner of my eye, giving me relative privacy. I also vaguely hear her say she'll be back later, but I'm already too immersed from reading the words he'd read out at his graduation. And I feel myself smiling with pride.

And as I get to chapter one, I couldn't have put it down... even I'd wanted to.