Whirlwind

(51) start of recovery

JASPER

***

It takes nearly three hours for scans to come through for Libby, by which point it's only myself, Mike and Lisa left in the hospital.

Libby was finally asleep, hooked up to some pain relief, and I was resting my head on the pillow next to her, our hands intertwined awkwardly. She'd been tossing and turning as she always does, but I could tell she's trying not to because of her leg.

I'd barely had any sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, the image of her lying there with her leg out like that just came flooding straight back to me and I woke with a jolt. After three instances of that, I gave up and just sat and watched her instead. I watched the rise and fall of her chest, thanking everyone possible for the fact that she was still with me.

Soon I hear the curtain being pulled back quietly and I feel a hand touch my shoulder. Doctor Foster, who asked us to call her Cathy, is standing holding a large folder, which I can only imagine are the results from Libby's two scans, one x-ray and an MRI on her knee.

"Do you want me to wake her?" I ask, rubbing my eyes. It wasn't late at all, still only about four, but after the stress of this morning I'm fucking exhausted.

She shakes her head. "Don't worry, I'll come back. Is Lisa still here?" She asks and I nod.

"I think she's downstairs in the cafeteria grabbing some food." I shrug and she rubs my shoulder again. I must say I'm glad that she's looking after us. It makes a huge difference knowing we're at a hospital where Lisa works. Everyone knows Libby, and it's a relief to know she's being so well taken care of. I don't know what I'd do if this had happened in New York or North Carolina. I certainly wouldn't feel this calm... if you could call stressed out of my fucking mind calm.

I put my head back on the pillow, resting my chin on it as I watch Libby's eyes dance behind her eyelids. She's dreaming, about what I don't know, but as she grimaces in pain I can't help but think she's having a nightmare. I wouldn't be fucking surprised. The amount of painkillers it's taking to keep her comfortable must be quite large. As soon as the drip was set up, she went off like a light, so she must have needed it. I was relieved because it meant she could get some rest for one thing, but it also calmed her cries and her screams. I know she's in pain, but her screaming out along with me not being able to do anything to help was heartbreaking. Lisa keeps saying I'm doing great, but I can't help but feel utterly helpless.

"Jasper..." I hear Libby's voice whisper faintly and I sit up immediately, stroking her hair back slightly from her forehead.

"I'm here, baby. What is it? What can I get you?" I kiss her forehead and she feels feverish again. I pull back her covers slightly, despite her shivering, to try to get her temperature back down. Despite it being hot she'd been shivering earlier - probably from shock - but now she was boiling.

"Ice chips," she mumbles. "I'm really..." I think she's going to say hot but then she drops back into sleep again and soft snores rise up around me.

"Ice chips, you got it," I whisper, smiling as I kiss her forehead again, then the heel of her hand before standing.

When I pull back the curtain, I yawn and stretch. Jet lag starting to catch up to me, but given how little sleep I'm likely to get over the next week, until I know Libby's out of the woods, I'm not likely to be getting much. I yawn again, checking her one more time before I walk down the corridor in search of the cafeteria in search of ice chips.

When I get down there, Rob has reappeared and he gets up when he sees me. I can't see Lisa or Mike anywhere, so maybe they're doing shifts.

"How you doing?" He pats my shoulder as I move to take the seat next to him.