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Tyler brings the toppings for the pasta out while I set the table, Luke staying behind in the kitchen to strain all of the water out of the pot of pasta. I set down a plate in front of my brother, going back to get everyone a glass of water. Luke glances up when I enter, double checking that Tyler's not right behind me before leaning in to kiss my cheek on his out of the kitchen. I blush, willing my shaking fingers to hold still while I fill up three cups and carry them out to the dining table.

I take a seat beside Luke, inhaling sharply when I feel his hand on my thigh. When Tyler looks down to pile pasta onto his plate, Luke gives me a look that asks Is this okay? I nod imperceptibly, swallowing hard as I put some food on my plate. It's hard to think straight when Luke's left hand is resting on my leg, his thumb making slow circles that send shivers down my spine.

I can't believe this is my life anymore. I'm cheating on my boyfriend with my roommate, the Luke Hemmings who's known for being a heart breaker. The same one I hated so fiercely those first few days he moved in with me. The one who was my first kiss, the one that dyed my hair blue and saved me from perverts feeling me up. He said in the kitchen that he wanted an official relationship and I don't think he's ever had an actual girlfriend before. Funny that my first boyfriend is the wrong member of 5 Seconds of Summer.

I don't really pay attention to the mindless conversation going on between my brother and my roommate, stuck on the sensation of his hand on my thigh. I like it way more than I should. His hand is light, affectionate and protective. I can pull away if I want to and he's certainly not hurting me. I'm choosing to go down this path that I promised myself years ago I wouldn't go down. But he's so hard to stay away from, no matter how much I try.

*

I'm stuck washing dishes with Tyler until it's late, Luke having excused himself to his room awhile ago on the pretense of getting work done. He's not in school, but he does have his apprenticeship to worry about and sometimes he looks over my schoolwork just to remind himself how to do some things. I remember what Ashton said about him being forced to drop out of college, how he's incredibly smart.

Shaking all thoughts of Luke from my mind, I hand Tyler the next plate to dry. "Everything good with Mom and Dad?" I ask, just to have something to say. I used to tell my brother everything and a part of me aches to tell him about Luke, but I hold myself back, worried about what he would do. Just the thought of Ty beating up Luke is enough to make me feel sick. I don't know when I started to care about the college dropout so fiercely, but one he kissed me last night, it's all coming to the surface. How did I never notice it before? I could have avoided this whole situation instead of agreeing to be Ashton's girlfriend because I thought it was him that I liked, not his bandmate.

"Good, good." Ty wipes the water off of the clean plate, setting it off to the side in the neat stack he's created. "They got a new puppy recently and they absolutely love her. She's like their third child. It's good that they're not missing us too much now though."

"Yeah, but they're going to be super excited to hear about you popping the question to Mandy," I say, nudging his shoulder with mine.

He bites his lip nervously, ducking his head. "Be honest, Izzy. Do you think she's gonna say yes? I don't know what I'll do if she says no. She's... She's everything I have, Iz."

Lowering the plate I was scrubbing, I say sincerely, "If she says no, I will be incredibly surprised. You two are perfect for each other. The yin to each other's yang. I literally can't even remember a time when you weren't together. You make each other so happy."

He gives me a side hug, wary of my soap-covered hands. Tears shine in his eyes as he looks down at me. "Thanks, Iz. You're the best sister ever." After a beat, he clears his throat uncomfortably and I start to panic. Please don't mention Luke. Please don't bring him up. "Does Ashton make you happy?"

My chest feels tight and I wish that I wasn't stuck in this awkward situation. I don't want to lie to Tyler, but I can't seem to find a way around it. "Yes," I say eventually. And he does, but not in the way he's supposed to. I don't like him as anything other than a friend, but I can't break his heart when we've only just gotten together. I can't immediately go to his best friend.

"Do you love him?" Ty presses and I can't do this any more.

Wiping my hands off on a rag, I clear my throat. "I'm kinda tired and I have a bit of work to catch up on. You need anything else before bed?" When he shakes his head, I step backward. "Okay, well, yell if you need anything." Turning before he can say or do anything else, I walk quickly down the hall, slipping into a room. 

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