Not As Important As You

Complete Honesty

Beck opened his eyes and saw a pretty face looking at him. He tried to smile, but he couldn't. "Is she- Did she-" He swallowed the lump in his throat, his throat dry and scratchy. He coughed.

"She's alive." He smiled. "But-" Tori stumbled over her words and he frowned. "Beck, I don't know how to say this." She gently took his hand careful of the bandage. "I don't even know if you would have wanted it, but-" Tori took a deep breath. "The baby didn't make it, Beck. I'm sorry."

Beck pulled his hand away. He sniffed. "I don't- I don't even know how to feel right now." He gulped. "When I- When I saw that plus sign I was scared." He admitted. "But all I could think about was how scared Jade must've been so I ran outside to see if she was still there and then I- I saw her car-" Beck was becoming choked up, his eyes watering, his strength weakening. "I was so scared, Tori. More than I've ever been in my entire life. More than I felt when I saw that stick. I was scared I would lose Jade." He blinked back tears and looked away from Tori to the corner of the room. He saw Jade holding a little baby. The baby slowly faded away like it did before, but this time Jade didn't fade away. Instead she stared at him, her eyes misty. "I'm sorry." He said, but there was no one there. He felt Tori take his hand agian.

"Beck, no one's over there. You're on morphine. You're arm was pretty badly burned." She frowned. "Jade is in another room. Andre will let me know when she wakes up. Robbie is with Cat, she's awake and doesn't seem to be injured at all." She sighed.

"Tori."

"Yeah?"

Beck took a deep breath. "Tell me the truth, complete honesty." He said.

Tori nodded. "Of course."

Beck licked his lips. "Do you think- Did you ever feel like- like I used you to make Jade jealous? Honestly."

Tori sighed. "Honestly, yes."

Beck closed his eyes tightly.

"When we first met, I'll admit I had a crush on you. I hoped you and Jade would break up and we would get together like some dumb movie. But then I got to know Jade, and even though she doesn't like me, I started to like her. I knew most of her mean girl attitude was from insecurity. When Cat first told me that I didn't believe it, but I knew it was true. She broke up with you and you showed up at school with the same girl she was worried about you being with. You did it to make her jealous." Tori sighed again. "After you guys got back together I thought things would be different, but you still flirted with other girls. Me mostly." She frowned. "I started to wonder if Jade and I would ever be friends, but I knew the answer. As long as I'm one of the girls you flirt with Jade will hate me and not trust me, and now I understand why."

Beck refused to open his eyes, but the tears were coming out anyway. "Do- Do you think I'm a jerk? Breaking up with Jade the way I did, for the reason I did?" He let out a shaky breath.

Tori bit her lip. "I think-" She took a deep breath. "I think we're young and dumb, honestly, and I think you and Jade are too in love. Like adult in love, which maybe made you try things you weren't ready for and maybe put a strain on your relationship that neither one of you ever wanted." She shook her head. "I don't think you broke up with Jade because she didn't want to do it again. I honestly think you were tired of fighting, but Jade was scared to talk to you, to tell you what was going on because you make her feel like you can do better. Like she isn't as important to you as-"

"Jade is the most important person to me." Beck interrupted her.

"I know, but you make her feel like she isn't when you flirt with other girls to make her jealous. So she was scared to tell you what was going on because she didn't want to give you a reason to leave her and find someone else. Instead of talking, because she couldn't say what she needed, she lashed out and argued everytime you tired to talk to her about something."

Beck sighed, then he chuckled a bit. "If you don't become a pop star, you should be a therapist." He joked.

Tori smiled. "I'll keep that in mind as a backup. I should go tell everyone that you're awake. We've been talking for a long while, too long." She chuckled and stood to walk out of his room. "Get some rest, Beck. I'll be back to tell you as soon as Jade wakes up."

Beck sighed and nodded. He waited for her to leave then he cried, full on sobbing, tears streaking his cheeks. He punched the mattress of the hospital bed, but he immediately regretted it because his bandaged arm was his punching hand and pain shot through his arm like a bullet. He slowly reached for the morphine button and clicked it until he couldn't feel the pain in his arm anymore.

The morphine kicked in making him slowly drift off to sleep once again.