⚚periods⚚

PCOS

I first got my period when I was in 5th grade (I was 11). And throughout middle school, I hated my period. A lot of girls hate their periods but I really hated my period. Because whenever I had my period, it was a freaking nightmare.

For starters, it was a mess. I would bleed heavily and violently and I would go through pads quickly and I sometimes got blood on my shorts and pants. The weird part of that was that I'm really lightweighted and skinny, yet so much blood came out. But it didn't end there! I would sometimes get my period not just once a month buttwice. Sometimes I wouldn't even get my period, like it would skip. And the mood swings I had were awful. My depression was horrible during my period and the littlest things would piss me off right away. But the absolute worst part for me was the cramps. Oh my God, they were god awful! At best, they were painful, like panging and twisting or a soreness in my pelvis; but at worst, they were agonizing. They would feel like someone was carving my insides up with a pair of scissors. They were so bad that I would shake, make my legs hurt too, and I would moan and struggle to hold back cries. That's how bad they would be.

And it was one of these awful period episodes that I was having one day in middle school. During one particular class, I was in absolute pain: I was hunched over in my seat, my legs shaking, my jaw clenched, and whimpers coming from my throat. Some kids noticed and asked me if I was okay.

Another person noticed: the teacher. And not just any teacher. But probably the shittiest teacher I ever had. Let's call her Ms. Umbridge. Anyhow, Ms. Umbridge noticed that I was in pain and how I was acting, so she pulled me outside. She asked me if I was having my period. Of course, I told her 'yes'. What she said next still makes me pissed to this day. She told me that it was normal to have really bad cramps during your period and that I would have to learn to get used to it at some point. Then, she and I went back into the room and carried on the class like nothing happened.

Basically, she told me to suck it up and deal with it.

Now, I was in middle school and I was 14 when this happened. And I didn't know a lot about these kinds of things. When I first got my period I didn't even know it, I just found all this blood in my underwear and I freaked because i thought something was wrong with me. So, when Ms. Umbridge said this to me, I was pretty confused but still upset because of how much pain I was in and she was just telling me to walk it off. Yet, I tried to forget it because, at the time, I thought most periods were like this. My mom figured that the cramps were worse for me because of my autism, which made me more sensitive. So, I went along with everything.

A year or two later, I moved and started high school somewhere else. My periods were still irregular, messy, and painful. So my mom finally took me to the OBGYN to see if there was something going on behind it.

And there was.

Prior to the visit, my older sister went to the doctor because they thought she had appendicitis. They checked her out and it turned out she didn't have appendicitis. They found a cyst in her ovary, instead. Now, my sister also had the same periods that I had: excruciating cramps, crazy mood swings, and an irregular cycle. That's when they found out that what my sister really had was PCOS: polycystic ovarian syndrome.

PCOS is basically what it sounds like: you get cysts in your ovaries. They develop there when you're on your period and it leads you to have all these symptoms, most of which my sister and I matched perfectly. PCOS can also mess with your fertility, your heart, your weight, and other things. It's also genetic. So when my sister was diagnosed, my mom thought I had it too so she took me to the OBGYN to see.

And I did. I do have PCOS.

They prescribed me birth control to help regulate my menstrual cycle and manage the cramps. Since then, my cramps are normally not as bad as they used to be and my period is more manageable. Looking back on it now, though, it makes me mad how Ms. Umbridge and others perceived my period and the painful cramps they gave me. I probably would've been diagnosed sooner, but I also probably wouldn't have because: a) I'm autistic, so most would assume that I was exaggerating the cramps a little, b) I didn't understand anything about periods or my own body, and c) most of the time, people just go with it and assume that that's just how periods are and that's what people who get them must deal with or something like that.

It bothers me how so many people and society look at and treat menstrual cycles. I've realized that the way we view menstrual cycles played a part in my sister and me not being diagnosed sooner. And it was shown perfectly through my teacher, Ms. Umbridge.

So please don't just brush off menstrual cycles or ignore them and belittle them.

A/N: Whether you have have the symptoms of PCOS or not, go to a doctor especially if your cramps are really bad. I'm thinking of going because i recently started throwing up when i'm on my period and my cramps have gotten worse. 

Who else vomits when they're on their period? 

Stay safe girlies~