⚚periods⚚

"it can't be that bad"

it was the day where we were going to celebrate the birthday of my grandfather. All my close relatives were there (except for my sister) and it's supposed to be like a small get-together in a park. So we packed our food and dressed up and then drove to the park.

Before getting there, I woke up to find that it was the first day of my period. My period usually lasts for a week or 4 days. The first days of my periods are usually the WORST so I was a little wary.

So, we finally get to the place. We find tables, set up the food and everything then start the party.

I was already moving sluggishly at this point but then a few more minutes later the paralyzing cramps start. I was curled up on the bench while everybody else was celebrating. I literally can't stand. It got SO bad that the wheelchair we brought for my grandpa who had a stroke ended up being used for me. They would wheel me around because it was cold and I needed the sun to heat up.

Sometimes I would shakily get to my feet to lay down on the bench because the period cramps where so unbearable I totally didn't know what to do with myself.

But, oh, it gets worse.

I start barfing. Everything I had eaten at the party. Gone. I was so pale that it looked as if my soul was being sucked off me. My uncles and some of my aunts were SUPER freaked out while my mom and one of my aunts were just chill.

By the way, my mom and my aunts have this thing against drinking any pain medication unless it was an emergency because they don't want us get used to relying on pain meds and I agree which is ridiculous because I don't know how worse my situation can get.

As far as I know, I've NEVER taken pain meds ever.

Uncle 1: She's very pale I should drive her home. Or get a doctor or something. Or some pain medication.
Mom: No. It's okay. This happens all the time. It used to happen to me too when I was young.
Uncle 2: But look at her!
Aunt 1: That never happened to me.

So basically, they talk about my period for at least an hour before they get used to the sounds of me groaning "It hurts." repeatedly then barfing.

Like I said, this thing happens SO OFTEN that I already knew the approximate time before this subsides (around 12 PM-ish I usually pass out then wake up at 4 PM with tolerable cramps). This type of thing even happens at school but I haven't thrown up or passed out at school yet. I only call home when I feel my vision start to wane and I'm about to pass out. All my guy schoolmates freaked out when they saw me.

So, I thought I could bear the pain without taking meds until 12 PM(We got there at 8 AM) because that's when I usually pass out BUT because I didn't have a comfortable resting place I wasn't able to pass out completely. It got so bad that I BEGGED my mom to ask my uncles to buy me pain meds. (Big deal cause I don't, as a personal policy, take it.)

At first my mom's like "Don't be silly. It'll be gone soon. Or you'll pass out soon." but then I can't pass out which is my only salvation so she finally gave my uncles money to buy medicine.

So, my uncles left.

And I was in a park barfing, groaning, slumped on a wheelchair, sweaty and unkempt.

An HOUR later, my uncles come back and tell us "We can't find a place that sells pain meds anywhere." I should've seen that coming because we were sort of in a nature reserve thingie and it would be hours before we find someplace to buy meds so my mom said "Never mind then."

This shit went on for HOURS. People were eating. Celebrating. Laughing. Playing BINGO for Gad's sake. While I was a blubbering mess of horribleness.

I was in a state of almost passing out but not quite.

The pain then goes from have mercy on my soul to you can walk slowly now. I check the time and it says 4:30 PM. I keep telling my mom if we can go home now. Finally she acquiesces.

And so I hobble to the car. Then we drive home.

(Oh, also. In the middle of the day, a photo shoot occurred and a shooting for a TV show near the area where we were situated. Yay.)

This happens every month supposedly but since my period is irregular I don't really know. I go to SCHOOL in THIS CONDITION. Except I do my DAMNDEST not to barf or pass out. Not even my friends in university know the EXTENT of my pain because I act like everything's fine. And I do that because once I admit I'm in pain, everything collapses. NOT EVEN MY FRIENDS SINCE FOREVER KNOW HOW HARD HAVING MY PERIOD IS FOR ME. COS I DON'T WHINE ABOUT IT. AND THEN THE ONLY TIME, THE ONLY TIME, THAT I ACTUALLY COMPLAIN I HEAR REMARKS LIKE "You're exaggerating" or "You're just over-emotional right now" AND YOU WONDER WHY I GET MAD.

So, if you tell me that it can't be that bad, well then. F U 2.