Too Close [RENESMEE AND JACOB]

4

But there's something inside that I need to release.

Late night parties in La Push were everything young people could dream of - beach, volleyball, good food, live music. All the youth had gathered, including Jacob's friends - the pack. More like brothers. He had grown up with them. And now years later, when some of them were about to start their own families, they were still there for each other.

Tonight was going to be different. Jacob and Renesmee weren't going as just a shapeshifter and his imprint, nor as friends. They were a couple, as difficult as it was for the hybrid to accept it. She put on her brave face and let Jacob's fingers intertwine with hers, sucking it up. It felt so bizarre to her - how come she felt nothing towards him? What about the imprinting?

She wanted to let out a deep sigh, but she couldn't, knowing everyone would ask her if she was alright. She had no patience to attempt to make up a lie, risking in telling the truth in the process.

Why couldn't she be like Kim? Or Rachel? Or Emily? She envied them so much at this moment.

Jacob and Renesmee were greeted by their friends with tight hugs and handshakes and then they all sat around the campfire, watching some of the high school students play games. Sometimes the pack missed their school years when they were young and free. Renesmee was jealous. She had never had the chance to attend any kind of school due to her fast growth.

The pack could see the way Jacob was looking at his imprint - the way every girl secretly dreamed to be looked at. Too bad they couldn't catch the anxiety hidden behind Renesmee's grins. Or could they be pretending not to notice it?

Jacob wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to himself and announced proudly: "Can you believe it? She's my girlfriend!"

Renesmee flashed yet another sugary smile, trying to snuggle closer to Jacob to convince her peers. At least she could fool them if not her vampire family. If only she could do that as well.

Leah Clearwater wasn't a fool, however. She could see behind people's masks. One could smile or cry, but Leah could tell if that person was being honest... or was playing with someone's feelings. Just like Renesmee was at that moment with Jacob.

Leah wasn't going to stay and watch her friend and pack mate being treated like trash over and over again. He wasn't a handkerchief that one could use and simply throw away after that. Jacob was a human being with actual feelings. And she wanted to remind Renesmee all of that in case she had forgotten. So when she pulled her away under a false pretext and made sure nobody could hear them, she opened her mouth:

"What are you thinking?"

Renesmee raised her eyebrow. She truly seemed not to understand what the shapeshifter meant. Until she realized - Leah was not dumb. In fact, Leah had to be one of the smartest people Renesmee had met during her short existence. And she was right - what was the hybrid thinking?

Renesmee hesitated. She desperately needed to outsmart Leah, to put her in her place. Who was she to mess in her life?

But then again who was Renesmee Cullen to play around with people's feelings? Leah was more than right to confront her. She was the kind of person who would do anything for her friends. And she couldn't let Jacob get hurt yet again.

"Why, Renesmee? Why?", the older woman demanded to know.

All the younger one could do at that moment was gulp, holding back her true feelings of confusion and disappointment. She truly wanted to confide in someone. At the same time, she knew no one would truly understand how she felt. What did she even feel? Why didn't she feel what Jacob felt? Was that normal? What kind of botched imprinting was his on her?

The rest of the night, Renesmee spent it faking her true feelings as usual and wanting to run away and cry her eyes out snuggling a stuffed toy. After all, tears were supposed to be saved for the pillow, weren't they?