Too Close [RENESMEE AND JACOB]

6

You know we're heading separate ways.

About a week had passed since Renesmee had found back her passion for music and the perfect song. She had avoided Jacob, always giving the excuse she was too busy. All she wanted was to focus on herself with bubble baths, singing, playing the piano and reading. For a week, she had read over ten books.

The Cullens had seen the change in their Renesmee and were pleased with it. But the real question was whether Renesmee felt happy. If she had an answer to it, she would say she felt neutral - neither too pleased with her life nor on the edge of suicide.

Jacob, having grown sick and tired of not seeing his imprint, called for what seemed the thousandth time that week. And finally, Renesmee picked up the phone.

"Yes, Jake?", she raised her brow. Why was he so clingy? He needed a life.

He let out a deep breath, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. We haven't been out in a while. Wanna go to the carnival tonight?"

The way he had blurted all of that sounded like he had been practising it in front of his mirror and that annoyed Renesmee, alas she accepted his offer. She truly needed to get out of the house. Besides, she didn't mind carnivals. She had been only once as a child. She liked how one could lose himself or herself and escape from reality once in a while. However, she hated cotton candy; she found it sickly sweet and too sticky for her taste. And every other food was too fried.

For the people in La Push, however, the annual carnival was perfection. Almost as if they were in Disneyland Paris. Having been there, Renesmee could never compare both of them.

This was going to be a long night and the hybrid was fully aware of that. Yet, she looked forward to it. Maybe Jacob would get the hint and would realize they were better off as only friends? Sometimes things had to stay exactly the same as they had always been. And that was the case with Jacob and Renesmee's complicated relationship.

That night, the carnival was the biggest attraction the small reservation had ever seen. People from the towns nearby were coming to see the performances of the talented children who were going to represent La Push at the carnival.

The smell of popcorn filled Renesmee's nostrils. It reminded her of the first time she had been to the cinema with Jacob. She wanted to let out a deep sign, alas she knew she would be interrogated about it and she had no patience to explain her worries. She had to control herself. She couldn't let anybody enter her mind. If only she had brought her leather fingerless gloves with her. But would that even help?

She could spot people she had seen before; she would often go to La Push and knew most of the people. The locals would greet her and ask her how she was.  Alas, they all felt foreign to her that night, almost as if she was seeing them for the first time. Her mind was too preoccupied to let her relax.

And here she was - in a carnival full of people, feeling alone and lonely at the same time. Until Jacob extended his hand to intertwine his fingers with Renesmee's. For the first time in a while, she didn't mind any of that. Perhaps she was beginning to develop true feelings for him? 

Not for long. These so-called "feelings" that had given Renesmee perfect illusions were quickly replaced by anger the moment Jacob began discussing their possible future. And that was when Renesmee realized they were so much different. They wanted completely different things in life. Jacob wanted family, a perfect daughter who carried the name of his late mother and would lead the pack with him. Renesmee desired to see the world first. She was too young and inexperienced.

They were heading separate ways in life.