Heartless

10

My eyes felt heavy halfway through the movie. I closed them for a second and felt Colby look over at me. He gently put his arm around me letting me put my head on his chest. His touch was comforting, part of me wanted to push myself away, but the other part of me never wanted to move again. Friends can cuddle it's not a big deal. I tried to convince myself. Even if I wanted to sit up I was so tired that I just let myself fall asleep safely in Colby's arms.

I was at the coffee shop, pouring a latte as the door opened, my heart stopped as I saw him walking through the door. "Dad!!" I yelled and ran to him. He hugged me tightly. "Hi squirt!" He said pulling me away. "What are you doing here!!!" I exclaimed smiling so big. "I thought you would like a suprise." He was right. Life has been a real bitch but he always knew how to make it a little brighter for me. The dream was short but sweet. And it was exactly what I needed.

I woke up still in Colby's arms, I felt him steadily breathing. I glanced up to see him asleep, the tv now off. What time was it? I quietly and slowly wiggled my way out of his arms. I checked my phone. 3:30am. Great. I looked over to see Colby peacefully sleeping. His features were soft, he was so handsome. He would never want me. I'm broken.  I thought to myself and sighed. I got up and grabbed a blanket and gently placed it on top of him. He must be a heavy sleeper because he didn't even flinch. I sat on the end of the couch and pulled my phone out. Time flew by as I continued to go through the comments of everyone hating me. I was much more stable this time and read them even though I knew I shouldn't.

"Good morning." Colby said in a husky voice making me jump. "Good morning" I said with a soft smile. I looked at the time. 6:45am. "How are you feeling?" He said as he stretched. "A lot better than yesterday." I admitted. "Thanks for coming over." I said brushing my hair behind my ear. "Thanks for calling me, I'm sorry they did that to you." He said in the most sincere voice. Did he actually care that I was upset? I couldn't process that. "It's okay, I'm just a baby." I said looking up at him. "You're not a baby..it's scary to have thousands of people who don't know you gang up on you." He admitted, "maybe." I said dismissing it. I would always feel like a baby when I cry.

"What are you doing today?" He asked changing the subject, presumably to get my mind off of it. "I have to go practice, I'm in a showcase tonight." I said which made him perk up, "for your singing?" He asked as he tilted his head. "Yeah, it's an open mic night at a coffee bar." I crossed my legs so I was fully on the couch. "You can come if you want..." I said which made him smile. "I would love to. Maybe I'll bring some friends and you can meet them." The glow in his eyes brightened, "sounds good..I'll send you the address." I said timidly as he started to stand up. "I should get going." He said softly as I stood up. He gave me a hug. It lingered, but in the moment it felt right, like two puzzle pieces were fitting together for the first time. "I'll see you tonight." He said and then left. As soon at the door closed, the butterflies in my stomach were gone.

I waited a couple more hours and I called my dad, I needed him more than ever right now,
"Good morning sweetheart" he answered
"Hi daddy" I said as I rubbed my eyes
"What's going on?"
"Nothing much..I need some advice.." I began.
"Go on.."
"There's a guy. I think I really like him...He makes me feel really comfortable, and I think he might be into me too.."
"How does that make you feel?"
"I don't know...is love even real" I said flustered
"Of course it's real honey. Your mother and I loved eachother very much....she just struggled. I still love her, that will never go away..but love can't fix everything. If you think this guy is worth your heart don't be afraid to give it up. But it's precious, so don't be too eager to give it to someone.." he said cautiously
"Thanks dad" I said nodding. He always knew what to say. "I have a performance tonight"
"You're gonna knock 'em dead kiddo"
"I hope so. I have to go rehearse"
"I'm proud of you, try to have someone record it for me."
"Will do, love you"
"Love you too, sweetie."

He always knew exactly what I needed to hear.