Heartless

80

Colby's face dropped, shock now plastered on it. "A-are you serious?" He said quietly and let his hands drop from my face. "Yes..I'm so so sorry..we were so careful I don't know how this happened. I get it if you want to leave...this could ruin your whole life and I don't want to be t-" he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. He brought his hands to my hips and pulled me to him, breaking the kiss and nuzzling his face into my neck. "I'm not leaving you babe. We are in this together. This won't ruin my life, if anything it will make it better. I'm just a little overwhelmed." He said and looked into my eyes. "I am too." I whispered as he moved one hand to my lower stomach, "did you want to keep it?" He said and brushed my hair from my face with his other hand, "of course." I whispered. He nodded, "I support you. If you change your mind I'll support you then too, we are in this together baby girl. You and me." I smiled slightly but couldn't look him in the eye, instead I was looking around nervously. "Hey, it's okay babe...." he said and lifted my chin so I had to look at him. "I'm so scared." I whispered and shook my head, "I know. I am too, but we can do this." I shook my head, "your fans are going to hate me. What are your parents going to think?" I whimpered as he chuckled, "Don't worry about them. They love you. We are adults, and I make a steady income. They won't be upset..and the fans..well we won't tell them until we can't hide it anymore." I nodded and swallowed hard as he pulled me to him.

"Thank you for being so understanding, I was so scared you would hate me." I mumbled into his chest, "I'll never hate you." He whispered and kissed the top of my head. I still couldn't wrap my head around what was happening. I was pregnant, unexpectedly pregnant..when I'm trying to chase my dreams. A strangled gasp fell out of my mouth as the realization of becoming my mother flooded my mind. "What is it love?" Colby said and tightened his grip on me, "what if I end up like her.." I whispered painfully. "Who?" He said and pushed away from me slightly so he could see my face. "My mother...what if...what if I become like her." I said shakily as his gaze softened slightly, "Cora, you will never be like her. You have more love in that heart of yours than anyone I have ever met. Our child is going to be so loved, not only by you and me but from Sam and Kat and Corey and Tara and Devyn and Jake and everyone. We have an army of people who can help us through this. You'll never become your mother. I won't let you." He said quietly and pulled me to him once again.

He looked into my eyes and smiled widely, "we are really having a baby" he breathed out happily. His reaction warmed my heart. "I'm gonna be a dad." He said and put his hand on my stomach again, rubbing little circles. "I can't believe we are doing this." I whispered but smiled. Now that I knew he didn't hate me, and was excited about this I let myself relax a little bit. "We have to schedule a doctors appointment, also Kat, Tara, and Devyn know already. We should probably at least tell Sam." I said as he brushed my hair behind my ear. "Yeah, come on." He said and grabbed my hand,

We heard yelling downstairs, "Katrina you can't hide it! Everyone is freaking out. Stop lying to me!" Sam yelled causing Colby and I to run down the stairs, "I'm not lying Sam! Why can't you believe me?!" She said and crossed her arms "I'm being tagged in thousands of posts of you at the store buying a pregnancy test! Everyone thinks you are pregnant Kat! Why were you buying a pregnancy test?!" She bit her lip then noticed Colby and I in the room. "Sam...." I said quietly causing him to turn his head, "the test was for me..um..." I let my voice trail off, "we're pregnant." Colby said and looked at
Sam as his jaw dropped. "Actually?" His arms went slack. "Yeah brother...she's pregnant." Colby said and walked up to Sam. "Oh my god! I-I'm speechless." Sam said and hugged Colby. "You guys are keeping it?" He said and looked at me. I nodded and put my hands on my belly. "Congratulations!" He said and ran to me, hugging me tightly. "This is a lot to take in but holy crap! This is crazy! Wow." He said and lifted me slightly off the ground, swinging me. I laughed as Colby hugged Kat, "alright Sam be careful with her, she's carrying some precious cargo." Colby said as Sam put me back on my feet. "Wow! Brother you're going to be a dad. That's crazy." He breathed and hugged Colby.

The two of them shared a moment as I stood there, fear still spreading through my body. I wanted to be as excited as everyone else, but there was this massive sense of failure radiating through my body. I knew Colby wouldn't let me become my mom, but the truth was I didn't know how a mother was supposed to act. I had seen how the other mothers treated their children, but day to day life was something I had never seen. "Babe.." Colby said quietly and placed his hand on my arm causing me to flinch, "I'm sorry...I just...I need a minute." I said and scurried off and towards the front door, brushing past Kat and Sam. "Babe!" Colby yelled and started after me, "brother, give her space for a minute." Sam said and held him back as I swung the door open, running outside. I just needed some air, and some time to think.

I curled up against the tree that was planted in front of the driveway. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the wind blowing, and the sound of the birds chirping. I had to let myself calm down. Part of my brain was excited for this, but the other half was struggling to believe that I could do it. I couldn't raise a child. I barely even knew how to keep myself alive! I put my hands on my stomach and rubbed it gently, "I'm going to try my best little one...I don't know what I'm doing, but all I know is that I will love you forever. I won't be like my mom...both your dad and I will love you forever. I won't let you down." I whispered as I closed my eyes, letting my head rest on the tree trunk.