When It's Just Us (Erasermight Fanfic)

I Just Want Him (Shouta's P.O.V)

   I couldn't bare staying cooped up in Toshinori's hospital room any longer. Two months had gone by, and he was still in the ICU. I sighed heavily as I sulked in the waiting lounge. I covered my eyes and rubbed the harsh tears away. I had been dehydrated from crying and refusing to take care of myself while Toshi suffered. I hung my head and swallowed a lump in the back of my throat. My hands shook as I folded them over my lap. I felt exhausted, weary from the grief. Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching me. I lifted my head to see, "Uh.. Midoriya, kids. What are you guys doing here?" I asked, getting to my feet. Midoriya waved, "We're here to see you and All Might, of course." He quietly chuckled, setting a few green hydrangeas in my hands. Iida smiled, "We had to come visit, we needed to know how our teacher was feeling." He said, setting a small bundle of blue carnations in my hands. Ochaco nodded, "Yeah! We know you and All Might are going through a rough patch, so we wanted to come see you guys." She giggled, setting a pink rose in my hand. Tsuyu croaked, "We really care about you, Mr. Aizawa." She grinned, setting green lilies in my hands. Todoroki averted his gaze, setting both a red and a white begonia in my hands, "I'm sorry for what happened." He mumbled. I nodded and smiled at my students. I was then greeted with a hug from Midoriya, who had been rather quiet. He squeezed my torso, "I know everything will get better, Mr. Aizawa. I-I just know it." He exclaimed, choking up on tears. I stroked his hair, "I don't doubt it, Midoriya. You kids and All Might never cease to amaze me." I glanced at each one of my students, who then joined the hug. Honestly, after crying and not sleeping for days on end, this was a nice surprise. One that was much needed, and appreciated. Midoriya shuttered and buried his face in my chest, tears soaking his face. I knew he was trying to be strong, but it was hard knowing his father figure was in a critical condition. I hugged all my students close, knowing they were all teary-eyed. I murmured, "Everything will be just fine. Just bear with me." I swore, kissing each one of their foreheads. 

   After spending a bit of time with my students, they headed home. I made sure to let All Might know that they had visited. I didn't let the students see him, due to his condition. I didn't want to put any traumatizing images in their heads, though he wasn't as bad as he was when he was first admitted. I heavily sighed and entered Toshinori's hospital room with the bouquet of brightly coloured flowers. "Maybe this will liven up the place.." I mumbled under my breath, setting the flowers in a vase provided by the doctors. I glanced over at Toshinori who was still unconscious. I graciously set my hand upon his cheek and rubbed his pale skin. I sniffled and wiped a tear from my cheek, "Please, keep fighting, Toshi.." I whispered, leaving a tender kiss upon his forehead. I collected myself and left the room. I still wasn't ready to be alone with him for another long period of time. I turned my back to shut the door and tripped into Toshinori's doctor. The man fell back and chuckled, "Pardon me." He said. I shook my head, "No, it was my fault." I helped up the physician and apologized, "I'm sorry, I just-" The doctor finished my sentence, "Haven't been feeling yourself lately?" He ended. I nodded, "Y-Yeah.." I hung my head. I felt empty, lost without Toshinori to speak with. The urge to cry crept over me. "Shouta, I know it's hard," He broke the silence, taking my hand, "I know you feel that it's your fault, but it's not. Toshinori was weak from the start. Don't pin this on yourself. His past caught up to him and gave him a dreadful demise." He exclaimed. I lifted my head and stared at the physician. "In due time, Toshinori will be good as new. No more heartache," He leaned in close, "No more struggling," His face inched closer, his voice toning down, "No more pain." He whispered, pressing his lips against mine. My eyes shot open wide as I sternly pulled away, "Whoa.." I pushed the doctor away, "You think it's okay to just.. hit on me when my boyfriend is dying?!" I swung a hand down. The physician grabbed me by my shoulders, "Shouta, dear. Calm down. I was only comforting you." He leaned his face closer once again. I growled and raised a hand. "HEY!" Mic appeared around the corner, energetic as always, "What's.. going on?" He asked, puzzled staring at both the doctor and I. I yanked myself away, "This bastard is trying to get in my pants when the only thing on my mind is Toshi!" I yelled, glaring back at the touchy physician. He put his finger to his lips, "Shouta, please. Keep your voice down, there are other patients." He shushed, acting unaware of his motives. I rolled my eyes, "Oh bullshit! I'll show you how to keep your voice down!" I cracked my knuckles and stepped toward the doctor. Mic soon acted and held me back, "N-Now, now, Shouta.. We're in a hospital, you could get arrested for assaulting a health professional." He stated, through clenched teeth. That didn't change my mind. "Oh! And him sexually harassing me is fine?!" I glared at both Mic and the doctor. The doctor gasped, "Shouta, I did no such thing. I was just comforting you through your situation." I felt my anger rising in my chest. I hollered, "You son of a bitch! You weren't comforting me at all! Instead of doing your job, you're hitting on a heartbroken man! Well here's a little news for you, I'm NOT interested! And don't think I didn't see that ring on your finger!" I retorted, the doctor hiding his hand away. Mic put a hand over my mouth, "Shouta, let it go. Go check on Toshi, I'll deal with Mr. Doctor man." He said, glancing back at the doctor who was white in the face. I yanked away from Mic and huffed. I gave the doctor the finger and made my way back to Toshinori's hospital room. 

   I knocked, knowing I wouldn't get a response. I let myself in the room and leaned against the door. Toshinori was still unconscious, breathing faintly. The blanket rose and concaved as the oxygen tank filled his lungs. I sniffled, each time I saw him like this brought tears to my eyes. I turned away and bit my lip. "God dammit, why won't you wake up?!" I cursed under my breath, feeling hopeless. I pressed my face against the door. My shoulders shook as I couldn't hold back the pain any longer. I was torn, two months of this misery was driving me mad. The world was nothing without the Symbol of Peace. Many believed he had died, others thought he left the country and went back to America. Only the pro-heroes knew his true state, along with a few students enrolled at U.A. Crime had increased since he was away, but Endeavour and I took care of most of it. Everything just felt wrong without Toshinori. It seemed as if there was little joy without him around. I cried as I stayed facing the door, "I want to hold you.. I want us to be together again.." I croaked, speaking to Toshinori who was out cold. I coughed, my throat becoming dry from the tears, "I just want you to be okay.." I murmured, gripping my shirt. I clenched my fist tight, my nails digging into my skin. My body felt shaky as I heaved many tears. "Please, Toshi.." I choked up. Subtle knocking was heard on the other side of the door. "Shouta, buddy? You holdin' up okay?" A shaken voice was heard. I opened the door and found Mic, his knuckles wrapped in gauze. My eyebrows rose, "Mic, you didn't-" He cut me short. "Off that subject, I know you were crying. I've been standing out here for a while now." He said, stepping close. I closed my eyes and hunched forward as I felt another wave of tears coming. Mic opened his arms, "C'mere, Shouta.." He said, his voice cracking. I fell into Mic's arms and hugged his torso, "It hurts.." I sniffled, "God, it hurts. W-Why does it hurt so much..?" I questioned, just wanting to ease the pain. He took in a breath, "Because ya love him, Shouta. You love him more than any other man has ever loved. He has a special place in your heart, that's why you're so torn about this." Mic spoke nothing but truth. I could feel Mic's chest tensing up, as he was trying to prevent his tears. He rubbed my back and sighed, "I know it hurts, I know.." His voice became a whisper. We stood hugging for awhile. Mic left after a bit, knowing we were both emotionally broken. I was left alone in Toshinori's hospital room, awaiting for the next morning. 

   Sometime later, I sat in the window sill, staring out at Hosu City. I pulled my legs to my chest as I watched people wander down the street, mothers and fathers were walking their children home, lights illuminated off nearby shops and cafes, while I sat up here with Toshinori. From a distance, I could see the skating rink we had gone to on our first date. I smiled, remembering how embarrassed he was, not knowing how to skate. I remembered the hot springs too, how red Toshinori's face became, how soft his lips were the first time we kissed in that pool of steaming water. I hung my head and chuckled, feeling warmth in my heart for just a moment. I turned to face Toshinori. I rested my head against my knees and watched his chest rise and fall. The moonlight bounced off his skin as he laid there. I just wanted him whole again. Right now, he was only a shell of the man I loved. His heart was still beating, but his spirit was broken as of now. Nothing would feel better than to be in his conscious arms again. I soon felt tears rolling down my face. I got up from the sill and sat beside Toshinori. My hair fell in my face as I pressed my forehead against his. I rested my hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat pound. Thump, thump.. thump, thump.. It was slow and well rhythmed. I inhaled, trying to silence my grief. I laid beside Toshinori, pulling the blankets over me. I moved closer to Toshinori. I laid my head on his shoulder and stroked his hair, "You'll wake up, right..?" I asked, knowing very well I wouldn't receive an answer. I sighed, letting out a shaken breath. I closed my eyes and wished for a better place, a place where Toshinori was alive and well. That night, I dreamt that I was back at the apartment with Toshinori, laying on the couch that we loved, watching stupid action movies together, sharing a blanket that one of us had, had for years. The very blanket that described him so well. Old and torn, but soft to the touch, lovable, and never forgettable. Never forgettable.